natasha romanoff one-shots (gxg)

𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 (𝟏/𝟑)

a/n: age gap (you're 23), fluff + angst, grumpy x sunshine (kinda? i've never read/written this trope so idk lol); endgame!nat

this one is way too long (almost 20k words) + has so much dialogue i'm sorry lmao. totally understand if some don't finish this entire thing because i'm genuinely questioning myself for turning this into a one-part fic

The hallways of the compound are quiet, just like they have been most of the time since the snap happened. You walk towards the door at the other side of the room, slowly and carefully, trying not to make too much noise in case Natasha's still busy.

The door to the meeting room is closed, but the muffled voices behind it have stopped. There's nothing but utter silence, and it doesn't fail to fill you with a low feeling of apprehension. Carefully, you turn the doorknob and push open the door.

Natasha sits up straight, quickly wiping away tears as she looks at you. She hates other people seeing her cry. It makes her feel raw, vulnerable, like an exposed nerve. Even with you, who she trusts so much.

You pause in the doorway, hesitating. "Meeting over?"

She nods, trying to compose herself. "Yeah, yeah. We're done in here."

You nod slightly before walking up to the table, standing next to Natasha as you look down at her. You bring your hands to her face, lightly wiping away the tears. "Why the tears?", you ask softly.

"It's nothing", she says, shaking her head lightly but not pulling away from your touch. Your palms are warm, soft. Comforting. "Don't worry about it."

You nod as you gently cradle her face. "Mhm. I cry over nothing too, sometimes, but we both know that isn't the case here."

Natasha sighs. Damn you and your stubbornness, your insistence on making sure people are okay. She doesn't say anything for a moment as she tries to find the right words. Funny, when the right words don't seem to exist. All she can think of are wrong words, words that can't explain what she's going through right now.

"I've lost people before", she starts, her voice strained as she struggles to put her feelings into words. "People I've cared about. I'm used to that. But the way it happened this time...half the universe, Y/N. Just gone. And I couldn't stop it."

"No", you agree, brushing a strand of hair out of her face as you cradle her head against your stomach. Natasha hesitates before she sinks into you, her eyes closing briefly and her hand grasping your shirt. "You couldn't. But neither could some of the most powerful beings of the universe, Nat. And that's okay. You tried your best."

"I was supposed to protect them."

You shake your head, lightly tapping your fingers against the back of her head. "It was your job to do everything you can to protect them, and that's exactly what you did. You fought until the last minute, and that's more than anyone could ask for."

Her mind absorbs your words. You're right, and she knows that, but knowing something is different from believing it, too. She shakes her head, her wet cheeks staining your shirt. "It still wasn't enough."

"No. And what Wanda did wasn't enough. And what Thor did wasn't enough. What Tony and Peter and Mantis did wasn't enough." You move your hand to her cheek, cupping it. "None of it was enough. But that's not your fault."

"It's not my fault, no, but that doesn't make it hurt any less", she says quietly, her hand clenching around to soft fabric of your shirt. You hum, brushing your fingertips over her hair.

"Okay, that's valid. Hurting is normal. Pain is normal."

Of course it is. After everything she — and everyone else who survived the blip — has gone through, not feeling pain wouldn't be normal. It's humane to feel compassion and empathy, and to grieve the lives that were lost.