The reason is you (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 1

Song: Wish you were here, by Avril Lavigne

"You're always there, you're everywhere! But right now I wish you were here!"

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Chapter 1

"...That's what makes you beautiful!!!" we finished our last concert of the tour and ran off of stage.

"Lads, that was amazing!!!" Liam said while patting me on the shoulder. And I couldn't agree more, but right now I just wanted to go away from all that noise.

"Well, I'm hungry. Anyone coming to Nando's??" Niall asked.

Everyone agreed but me.

Surprise, Surprise... 

"Actually, I'm not very hungry but tired... I'll go to sleep."

"Ok, bye Haz!" Louis said and followed the other boys, not looking back.

If you haven't already guessed, I'm Harry Styles. 1/5 of the world's biggest boy band. You might think my life is great. No problems, no issues. Well, that's wrong. Yeah, I'm popular and I have 4 lads, who I love like brothers... But truth is, I'm depressed.

There is one of my 'brothers' that I like more than that... I'm in love with him... You might know about 'Larry Stylinson'. The bromance between me and Louis Tomlinson, the fans made up. How many times I'd  wished that was true.

Now maybe you will think, I'm one of these VIPs that say they're depressed but it's all fake... I swear it's not. I even visited a therapist (without the boys knowing of course). 

The therapist tried to help me, but apparently I had a mental fight with myself, so I had to deal with it by myself. 

I wish I could say I dealt good with it. That I was perfectly fine, that I tried to be fine... but I wasn't. I started cutting when I met Louis in the bathroom of X Factor and realized my feelings. Then I stopped (that was the time when I got the therapist), but started again 3 months ago (when my therapist ditched me). 

I arrived at the tour bus and went straight to the bathroom. You can guess why. I pulled the blade out of my jeans pocket and rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie. I pressed the razor on my skin and drew the first line. I watched the red liquid pouring out and falling to the ground. I drew another line.

1. I'm gay and that's just wrong.

2. I love my best mate and that's disgusting.

3. He will never love me back.

4. I can't sing.

5. I'm fat.

6. I don't deserve to live.

7. I don't deserve to be in One Direction.

8. I'm worthless.

9. Even my therapist ditched me, because I'm hopeless and worthless.

10. I'm a cutting freak.

By now I was sitting on the loo crying with an arm full of blood. The tears fell on the ground and mixed themselves with the red blood. I picked  a towel and cleaned the floor and my arm. Then I sat on the loo again and pulled out my phone. I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't help it...

I typed into my phone Harry Styles and waited for the results to come up:

"@Harry_Styles can't sing! Why is he even in @onedirection?!"  

"@Harry_Styles is fat and a worthless pig... Why don't you throw him out @onedirection?"

"@Harry_Styles is an ugly faggot and he can't sing! What do you find in him @Louis_Tomlinson @Real_Liam_Payne @zaynmalik @NiallOfficial ? You are so much better than him! Why waste you time?"

"@onedirection is better without @Harry_Styles! Why is he still in the band?"

"OMGOMGOMG @Harry_Styles I love soooo much!! Marry me?" 

Well, I agreed with all of them but the last one. For all I knew it could be management who tweeted it, or a pitiful fan. I read the tweets another time...

Can't sing

Fat

Worthless pig

Ugly faggot

Fat...

Fat...

Fat...

Were they right? I stood up and took my hoodie off, to look at me in the mirror. They were right. I was fat, I had fat all over me. I had also cuts on my stomach and hips, but I was fat. I sighted. Great, another problem added to the others... 

"Harry? You in there?" I heard Louis ask. Well, they were back.

"Yeah, will be out in 2 secs" I yelled back. I dressed myself again and washed my face with cold water. I couldn't have the boys notice that I was crying now, could I? I exited the bathroom and went straight over to my bed. I laid down and tried to sleep, but of course the boys had other plans.

"Nonono, you're not gonna sleep Hazza! We'll stay UP ALL NIGHT AND FIND A GIRL AND-"

"TELL HER SHE'S THE ONE!" Zayn joined Lou's singing. 

I groaned. I just wanted to sleep!!! Why couldn't they accept that? But I knew it was no use to resist. So I sat up and asked annoyed: "Fine. What're we gonna do?"

"That's the spirit!" Niall said "And let's play Truth or Dare!!!" 

"Yeah, c'mon!" Zayn agreed. 

Shit! I knew the boys loved embarrassing Larry dares! This was going to be so much fun...  Please note the irony.

We all sat down around a bottle and Zayn spun. It spun and spun and spun and landed on...

me.

Yay.