In Another Life (trumpxbiden)

1

His annoying smirk made me sick. Well, when I wasn't dozing off or forgetting things again. Huh, what was I talking about? Where am I?

I blinked before counting to ten in my head. I looked around the room. A myriad of glares were shot at me across the room. Some of them were Trump supporters, but some of them were Democrats. Shit, weren't they meant to be on my side?

Oh no, did Trump and I change sides without me realising? Hehe, I can be so dense at times.

"Sleepy Joe?" Trump's mocking voice boomed across the room. "This guy is definitely not fit to run a country. Definitely not. I would be the best person to run this country."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, Trumpet."

Gasps diffused around the room. In horror, I gasped. I was at the Presidential Debate. Or something like that, I don't know.

"Mr Biden, that was extremely inappropriate!" some random conservative NPC said.

I gasped, grabbed my chest and tried to play it off. "What did I say?"

Yeah, when I saw that people were accusing me of having dementia on the news, I decided to roll with it. My grandchildren told me that faking illnesses was offensive, but I couldn't give less of a shit. Maybe they'd understand too, if they were alive as long as I've been.

The conservative NPC sighed and scratched his head. Eww, I hope he doesn't give his fleas to me!

Just then, the room began to shake and the electricity went out. I rubbed my eyes. Did I forget to take my meds today? Hmm. Or perhaps it was the strange powder my assistant gave me before the interview?

Anyways, the room continued to shake. I heard screaming coming from beside me. Suddenly, I felt something heavy grabbing onto my leg. I looked down and gasped. I could just about make out a yellow brassy toupee. Trumpet?

"Donald John Trump," an extremely deep, masculine voice called out from the shadows. "Joseph Robinette Biden Jr."

"Is that my full title?" I said, feeling confused.

The voice sighed as the lights turned on again. Trumpet jumped up from the ground and released my leg. He hurriedly patted his suit down, his normally orange complexion now a deep shade of red. Just like his tie.

Everybody else in the room seemed to have disappeared, apart from three figures. The middle one was tall, muscular and had long white hair trailing behind him on the floor. He was shirtless, and was only wearing a towel around his waist for some reason. Did the power outage come at a bad time for him, or something?

The man on his left had long tangled looking dark blue hair, with a matching dyed beard. He was the darkest of the three, and looked to be middle eastern. His style was close to that of a 1960's hippie. Looking at him was nostalgic in a way. Though there was no way that the hair dyes were that good. I should know. Since I'm so old, I was actually around!

The third man was the palest of the three. If I had a sheet of paper on hand, he would've probably been the same shade if not brighter. His bald head almost glowed. He was wearing long white robes and had an extremely generic looking face.

"You two seemed confused," the man in the middle began to speak, proving that he was the one talking to them at the start. "I suppose this is confusing."

"Allow us to introduce ourselves," the hippie had an extremely obvious southern drawl, much to Trumpet and I's surprise. "I'm Jesus Christ."

The man in the centre sighed, "You've always been a massive attention seeker."

"It's only because you made me human, Dad!" Jesus pouted and crossed his arms like a bold child.

Trumpet gasped. "Dad? Does that mean-"