Dragonflies & The Great Blue Heron

For more than a decade, Great Blue Herons had a special meaning for Jim and Judi. During those years, Jim had no hint this special meaning would one day have a much deeper significance.

The couple enjoyed watching the graceful blue herons from the deck of their summer cottage on Kootenay Lake, in the mountains of British Columbia, Canada. The five-foot tall birds would feed less than 100 feet away, drawn by schools of minnows to a small willow-screened bay below their deck.

They could also watch the long-legged birds fish patiently in the reedy shallows of a sheltered cove where Jim and Judi often anchored their boat overnight. It became their mascot of sorts.

Thus, it was fitting to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary by commissioning a watercolor of a pair of nesting blue heron.

And then the years slipped by, as they will. Those 30 years edged toward 35. Their prized painting hadn't been framed. One day, Jim snuck the rolled up watercolor out of their house and got it framed. On the night of their 35th anniversary, as they prepared to turn in for the night, there the framed painting was, above their bed, where Jim had just finished hanging it minutes earlier.

Three years later, Judi lost a 13-month battle with cancer. And Jim was, well . . . lost, too.

At Judi's memorial service, a dear friend and former colleague led the service. In her remarks, Eva was determined to help Judi's many young grandchildren, and other children among the large assembly of mourners, to comprehend what was occurring.

So, Eva told this brilliant story:

Once upon a time, a happy group of tiny bugs were playing on the bottom of a lily pond. One by one, the bugs climbed up a lily stem and disappeared. Those left behind wondered what had happened to their friends. Then they agreed the next bug to venture beyond the surface of the pond would return and tell the others what they'd experienced.

One day, a bug left and found itself on a lily pad. It fell asleep. When it awoke, the warm sunshine had dried its body. Instinctively, it spread the wings it had grown while asleep and began flying away. The bug had become a beautiful dragonfly with four resplendent wings. Then it remembered the promise. It swooped back toward the surface of the pond and headed downward. The dragonfly hit the surface and could go no farther. It was not able to return. Finally, it realized the others would just need to have faith that it was going to be all right.

Before she died, Judi had asked Jim to make two promises to her: live a healthy lifestyle, and find someone with whom to spend the rest of his life. The first was easy. He struggled with the second. It was shelved for almost three years. 

 Then he met Sharolie.

Soon, it was obvious Sharolie was an extraordinary woman, just as Judi had been. Sharolie understood Jim's still-raw grief. She encouraged him to share with her experiences from the 38 years that he and Judi had together. Sharolie said it helped her to know and understand both of them better. Like Judi, Sharolie was spiritual and blessed with a generous nature. Both had the capacity to recognize in others virtues that most people would overlook, ignore, or even fear.

One day, Sharolie's instincts and deep spirituality drew her to visit a yoga ashram near Jim's place on the lake. Jim went along, out of curiosity and to be with her. After all, they were still in the euphoria of new love.

It was early afternoon and sunny when Jim and Sharolie arrived at the picturesque ashram overlooking Kootenay Lake. They parked at the main building. The two followed a narrow winding path through dense trees, over a footbridge and across lawns toward their destination . . . a temple, the centerpiece of the ashram.