But i can't forget you

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IM BACK! After almost 3 months?! Im sorry this chapter has been so delayed! I was really procrastinating some of the later parts as well as how it would impact the rest of the story!

Also it was my birthday a little while ago so yay for that!

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He could feel the world around him freeze as stared at the door

Stared at the man holding the door open, taking in the sight of Scaramouche, his skin, his hair, his eyes, glinting from the lights of the party raging beyond the walls of the room.

He caught the subtle changes

His skin taking a more tired and malnourished hue, the hue he would expect of someone about to be sick.

The way his hair seemed a dull purple instead of the vibrant indigo he loved so much.

His eyes, they stared back at him, his gaze held the weight of all his unsaid words, his sadness, pain, anger, guilt,

Betrayal

Kazuha could see it all, he could feel it in the way Scara's eyes teared up, unnoticeable at first, but the closer he looked, the closer he admired the scene before him, he could see the tears in his eyes waiting to fall and let out all thats been left unspoken.

Even like this, he still looked ethereal

"Scara-"

"I wish we never met"

The tears fell

From his own eyes

As the door closed and he was left alone he felt the tears running down his cheeks and falling to the floor, where no one would see or ever find them.

His unspoken words.

Small daggers stabbing into his heart and leaving it to bleed in his chest

"I wish we never met" he heard repeating in his ears

He stayed like that for awhile, with his back against the wall and his eyes watching the floor as his tears stained the carpet.

Distantly he thought of Gorou and Itto in one of the rooms

He had never so much as shed a tear over what they would do together, he had felt the burn in the back of his throat at being so easily discarded to the back of their minds and that was it

Yet here he was

Walking directly up to the same door he had watched them disappear behind

He doesn't remember leaving the room

Why did he leave?

Did anyone see him leave?

Did anyone see Scaramouche leave?

How could he let Scaramouche leave?

Why didn't he stop him?

The door slammed against the wall with a hard thud

He watched as the two of them practically jumped out of their skin at the sudden intrusion

"Kazuha!?" Gorou was stunned and clearly floundering for his words as he tried to use a blanket to cover himself up, while Itto started looking for their clothes

"We're done"

He was sure people must've heard the door slam and were probably listening by now

He didn't care

He left the room and went to find Scaramouche, distantly he thinks he hears faint yelling, but that wasn't his problem

he was sure that Scara would try to leave the party so he made his way to the ground floor

Sure enough, standing by the door with Heizou was the man he was looking for

Kazuha likes Heizou, he's kind, a little bit of a tease, smarter than most and he knows it too

But when he sees Heizou comforting Scaramouche as if he's his boyfriend and Scara does nothing to stop it, he feels something perhaps described as jealousy

Without another thought, he's between the two of them gently but firmly pushing Heizou back as he takes hold of Scara's hand and leads him away from the front door and Heizou as well as watching eyes from somewhere in this maze of a building

A study office this time, he had seen about 5 of them scattered around the house

Locking the door behind him, with his back pressed against the door as he looked at Scaramouche

He was looking back at him

Even when he was angry he looked beautiful

Before he knew it Scara had torn his hand out of his grip

"First, you ask me to get high with you so you can fuck me, then you get a boyfriend and quit drugs and pretend i never existed, as if im nothing to you, then you kiss me and cheat on your boyfriend?!"

Scara was seething and his hands were balled up into fists so tight they had started to shake, his eyes were glaring into Kazuha's with angry tears starting to well up in them.

He tells himself to say something

Anything

To tell Scara how it was never about fucking him, that he just wanted to be near him, that he needed to avoid him or else he would give in to his hope, his dreams of them being together in every way possible, that its for that exact reason he caved this evening and kissed him, gave himself another taste of 'what could've been', the very reason he cant sit calmly and watch as someone else touches him, flirts with him, the way he should be.

So he does

He tells him

Everything

Everything he feels, everything he thinks

And Scaramouche listens, he doesn't say a word, he doesn't move, he just listens

He listens as Kazuha tells him how ever since he met Scara, he longed to always be by his side

He listens as Kazuha tells him how he wants nothing more than he wants to be the one Scara would turn to for anything

He listens as Kazuha starts to tear up at realising how much of a mess he's made of everything

He listens as Kazuha finally gives him the apology he's waited so long to hear

He still doesn't move, he still doesn't speak, but he also doesn't move away when Kazuha takes his hands into his own and laces them together

He still doesn't move away when Kazuha rests his head against his

All he does is listen

Listen to when Kazuha says those four words, he never thought would be said to him

"I love you Scaramouche"

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A little short but thats only because i want to make the next one quite long! Also i know i promised smut, but i wanted to leave you with a bit of a cliffhanger while i figure out how im gonna write that with absolutely 0 experience lol

Like last chapter i'm writing this while drinking my vodka coke so im sorry for any spelling errors or if some of it doesn't make sense, ill fix it tomorrow!

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Sep 07 ⏰

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