The Space between a Rock and a Hard Place

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Credits go to the original author on AO3: alienu

ShadowPeach

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"This is like the start of a bad joke," Wukong told him once.

Macaque smiled—smirked, really—and rested his chin on his hand. He could hear every strain of Wukong's muscles, every hitch of effort in his breaths, every creak of the spiked platform above his head as it struggled to press downwards. "How so?"

"Dunno," said Wukong, voice taut with effort. A bead of sweat rolled down his cheek and dripped off his chin, hitting the floor with a plap. "They make jokes about this kind of thing, right? Two monkeys walk into a cave, or whatever."

"The correct one would be two monkeys walking into a bar," Macaque told him. He flicked his tail, dragged it deliberately over Wukong's nose.

It twitched and his face scrunched like he wanted to sneeze, arms wobbling. The spikes inched downwards, flattening his bonnet just slightly, only to be shoved roughly back up again. Wukong hissed, "Jerk."

They both knew that Macaque would help him in a heartbeat. Wukong was just a stubborn bastard; intent on proving his own strength every second of the day. So, Macaque paid it no mind.

"What's the punchline?"

"What?"

"The punchline," Macaque said, "of the joke. You know what that is, right?"

"I know what a punchline is!" Wukong sputtered. "I'm not stupid!" And Macaque made a little humming noise, grin widening minutely, like he didn't quite believe it. Wukong fixed him with a glare.

He pointedly ignored it. "Are you gonna stay there all day, Your Highness?"

"Are you gonna yap your jaw off all day, Six-Ears?"

"Depends. Are you gonna shut me up?"

"Thinkin' bout it," said Wukong. He took a deep breath, and in one great heave, shoved the spiked platform up enough so that he could roll out from underneath. His tail narrowly escaped being crushed when the spikes met the ground with a thud. He lay there on his stomach for a while, catching his breath, arms and legs spread out like a starfish.

When his heart somewhat steadied, no longer thudding against his ribcage with every beat, he said, breathlessly, "Two monkeys walk into a bar."

"We're not even allowed in bars," Macaque reminded him. "Remember the last time you stumbled into one out of curiosity?" He made a face, pitching his voice higher to mimic the panicked cries of humans, "'Demons, demons! Ruuuun!'"

"You're impossible," Wukong snorted, going to smack him. There was no real effort behind the swing, and Macaque leaned out of the way with ease, laughter spilling off his lips. Like wind chimes.

"Be funnier," is all he said, standing with a huff and brushing off his pants. He held out a hand for Wukong to take, yanking him up with a certain amount of care. "Let's get going, Your Majesty."

"Fine, fine, whatever," he said, squeezing Macaque's hand once before dropping it. It was warm, and when Macaque began to lead the way through the cave, Wukong followed. His heart was still beating too fast.


—Present Time—


"This is like the start of a bad joke," Wukong tells him. He laughs, but it's forced and it makes Macaque's ears flatten against the sides of his head. He scowls and turns away just so he doesn't have to see the stupid look on Wukong's face.

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