Ambush

Welcome!

Hello everyone! 

I've been working on this novel off and on for years now. I'm ready to make it a priority now. I'm publishing it here for you guys as my beta readers. Please comment your thoughts or feel free to message me any tips or critiques. I'm always looking to grow and learn.

Info about the book:

- I will be posting 1st rough drafts of each chapter. The book is subject to change until it is completed.

- The book will be smutty. I love writing spicy scenes. If you do not like them, skip them.

- I'll create a playlist on Spotify for the book. I'll add the songs to the beginnings of the chapters as well.

A little about me:

- I'm 21 years old as of posting this.

- I live in the USA.

- I have 2 bunnies, 3 cats, and a red eared-slider turtle.

- I want to visit Iceland and Singapore.

- Pusheen gifs make me so excited that I squeak and jump around the house. 

- I'm diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I got diagnosed as an adult at age 20 when I sought treatment independently. I will be taking an OCD test soon.

- I struggle with ARFID, which is an eating disorder that makes it difficult for me to find foods I can eat. I often end up not eating at all instead. I've worked through this by giving myself time and trying new things when I'm ready. Rather than a list of foods I don't eat, I have a list of foods I can eat. I've recently discovered I like Indian food, so long as there are no big curry leaves, rice, or noodles.

- I love beautiful things and pretty words. Like petrichor and the way all the trees look greener when the clouds are about to rain.

- Sometimes I get really sad my stuffed animals aren't real that I cry. LOL, but it's true. 

(Edit: As you can see, my thoughts follow a different pattern than most people's. I connect different ideas than other people do. It may seem like my thoughts are random, but they're absolutely not. They may just be connecting in a way your brain is probably incapable of. For example, I may be able to connect the way a rock makes me feel when I hold it to the smell of Indian food. I can also understand how other people think through images, shapes, colors, tastes, etc. just this morning I described my husband's brain like he is an expert Tetris player while I am a squiggly line that continues squiggling forever. Typically, I have abstract animations in my head to describe people or even images in a slideshow like Pinterest photos that illicit the same emotions I feel when I think of that person. It's impossible to describe to people who have never experienced it, but I needed to share all of this after I read this page and how all over the place it was.)

Between the abuse I've endured, my unique, neurodivergent brain, and the social ostracization, I've had a very lonely, very strange life. I want to break out of this mold and design myself a life that I am excited to live. During my two decades of life, I've had a lot of people in my life tear me down and make me feel small. In fact, everyone I've ever loved has done this. By writing this novel,  I have complete control over the characters and the world in which they live in. I can finally have something that is entirely my own. I've wanted to be a writer since 4th grade when my English teacher Mr. Willis inspired me during a one week long intensive writing camp. This is my chance to start creating works of art that I am proud of, and I don't need anyone's help or approval. 

Thank you for joining my on this journey of self-discovery as I perfect my craft.