Unexpectedly Yours

A Gamble on Love

I stayed in my room for the rest of the night. I could hear my parents talking to each other when they both came home. Mom knocked on my door but I didn't answer. My dad tried too, but I couldn't seem to physically get up. They left me alone after that.

I lay against the wall beside my bed. My fingers inched towards the phone, but it always fell short, and then I'd go back to lying against the wall with my eyes closed, waiting for something to happen. But nothing happened. It just remained silent, the night slowly creeping on me with the increasing darkness.

When the phone rang, I picked it up reluctantly. I didn't check caller ID.

"Hi." Krit's voice was soft, like he knew what happened.

"Did my mom call you?" It came out like a whisper in the dark.

"Yeah."

We didn't say anything for a few minutes, but it felt nice, like he was leaving me space and was waiting for me to tell him what happened. Or maybe it wasn't for his sake, and he was just waiting for me to be ready. I closed my eyes and just took deep breaths to steady myself.

"I feel sad," I finally said. It still came out like a tremor.

"I know." Krit was being so gentle it made it worse.

"I think I did something wrong." I couldn't stop myself from shaking. It was happening again. "I thought it would stop making me sad, but it didn't."

I wanted to continue, but my throat felt dry. "Why are you sad, Nanon?" Krit asked slowly.

"I...Ohm." My voice cracked on his name. "He'll make me happy one moment...and then he'll make me sadder than I've ever been the next."

I buried my head on my bed. The words were hard to say. Krit's breathing was even, and I knew what expression would be on his face at the moment.

"And then...all I can think of is every moment where he made me feel like that, and I'm just so tired of being so sad like that. And then it just doesn't seem...worth it. Why won't it work out, Krit?" My voice was shaky. I couldn't even say his name without wobbling. "Why is it that I can remember every time he made me want to cry, even though I don't want to? What I did was supposed to make it...supposed to make it..." I couldn't say it.

Easier. Distancing myself from him was supposed to make it easier.

I took a deep breath.

Krit's response was gentle. "I think you should talk to him. I think...you have more questions I can't answer."

All I could see was the glazed look in his eyes when I told him to leave. But he didn't say anything. He just nodded. "I don't think he'll want to talk to me," I told Krit quietly. Not after I turned my back to him and walked away.

Krit was quiet for a moment. And then he said, "I think he will."

Neither of us said anything for the next few minutes, and when my conversation ended with Krit, I got up. Krit was right. I needed to talk to him and work out...what he meant to me. Because I couldn't understand Ohm. He made me frustrated and made me laugh. He made me sad and made me lightheaded. He made me feel so many things at once and whatever it was that made me push him away the past few days was clawing at me.

I opened the door of my room and the light that suddenly entered was disconcerting. My steps felt heavy as I made my way to the guest bedroom.

But it was empty. The door was opened and there was no one there, and everything that said Ohm was here was gone. It left me slightly panicked, and when I heard footsteps behind me, I turned around abruptly. It was my mom.

Mom looked sad as she came towards me. "Oh, my dear," she said, wrapping her arms around me.

"I think I made a mistake," I said quietly. Mom touched my face; it was wet. But I never cried.

Mom didn't say anything. She just wiped the tears with her fingers in that slow, maternal manner I was used to. I relaxed in her embrace.

"Where is Ohm?" I asked, glancing at the guest room.

"He went home." Mom was smoothing my hair. "He was gone before we got home."

"I – I –" My voice felt dry. "I want to talk to him."

"I know," my mom soothed, and then Dad was there, and he was twirling his car keys around a finger.

"I'm not required to join in, right?" he said jokingly, but he was looking at me with concern.

I laughed, and the tears in my eyes blurred my vision. Mom wiped them again, and then there was Nonnie passing her a handkerchief. Brat wrapped her arms around my waist and the small gesture touched me. "I'll destroy him," she said, burying her head against me. "I know You-Know-Who's spells."

"Avada Kedavra?" I asked him.

Nonnie head butted me. "You can't just say it like that!"

I smiled. "I thought you liked Ohm?"

"But you're my brother," and that was all she needed to say to make me teary again. It was almost ridiculous. I prized my own ability to refrain from waterworks.

"I guess this is a family thing then." My dad wrapped his arms around us. "So, as we are set on destroying the kid?"

I had the biggest urge to laugh. After so many years of having urges of killing Ohm, here was my family making it seem like a family outing.

"Don't be ridiculous," Mom said, nudging Dad. "We're just going to drive Nanon to his house so they can talk and work things out."

"But I thought he should stay away after everything that happened," Dad replied.

I felt embarrassed by his comment, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I shot him an annoyed look, which made him smile.

Dad twirled the keys. "You ready?"

There was one problem. "I...I don't think he'll let me in."

Dad just shrugged and gave Mom a look. "Don't worry, we have keys to his house."

I blinked. To say my family was surprising me tonight was an understatement.

"It'll be a surprise!" Nonnie chimed in. "I love surprises!"

Dad ruffled her hair. "This one's not for you, doll. It's time for bed." He pulled Nonnie by her arm. "I'll be waiting for you in the car, whenever you're ready," he said to me before pulling a squirming and giggling Nonnie to her room.

Mom took the handkerchief from my hands. "Everything will be fine. Yui and I had a talk already." She kissed my forehead. "Take chances. Take a gamble."

I nodded. She squeezed my hands, and it made everything feel better.

I hopped in the car after wetting my face, hoping it wasn't so obvious I had been crying. The car ride consisted of Dad humming along to the radio with me trying to run through all the things I wanted to say.

Arriving at Ohm's house took about three minutes. My dad pulled along the road.

He gave me a look when he turned off the engine and faced me. "I'd like you to know I trust you, and even though I'll deny it later, I also trust Ohm. The only reason I didn't castrate him that morning was because I know he's a good kid." He gave me a pointed look.

I nodded. I got out of the car and Dad drove home, making me promise to call him when I was finished.

I looked at house in front of me.

There was only one room with the lights still on.