You woke up and sighed, thinking about the dream you had again. "Why can't I stop thinking about him?" you wondered aloud. You tried to push the thought away, but it kept resurfacing. "You can't like him," you told yourself. "You can't do this to your boyfriend. Besides, he doesn't even like you. He kind of hates you, actually." Despite your efforts over the past two months, your feelings for him remained.
Determined to shake the feeling off, you picked up the phone and called your cousin, pouring your heart out about your emotions. She listened and advised, "You just need to forget about it." Seeking a distraction, you decided to go through his TikTok because you remembered seeing some odd things there before.
You and your cousin hopped on FaceTime and screen-shared as you scrolled through his following list. At first, it was amusing, but as you kept looking, you found more and more things that were actually pretty offensive. It made you mad, but you couldn't stop looking. The profiles were filled with girls who looked nothing like you and had unrealistic bodies, which instantly gave you the ick.
The more you discovered, the more your mood soured. For the next few days, you worked out a lot, unable to stop thinking about how disgusted it all made you
feel.
Sure, I can help with that! Here's a more figurative and polished version:
You altered your appearance so much that it was obvious to everyone. You laughed it off, but deep down, you knew it was a problem. You were aware of the harm it was causing. A few days later, you decided to browse through his reposts again, and what you saw made your heart sink. He was reposting about a girl he liked, and it was recent. His words were sweet and respectful. I craved that respect from him. If he couldn't even respect me, how could he respect another girl? He was disrespecting every girl out there while trying to win one over. My emotions were a tangled mess. But one thing was clear: I wanted him to feel that way about me. It consumed me, no matter how much I tried to deny it and forget, it only got worse. I almost forgot that he despises me, doesn't think about me at all, and—oh!—he's my boyfriend's best friend.
