The Only Exception (Book 3)

Trust, Desire and a Wrench

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Adam's Pov:

I didn't sleep all night. I couldn't. Every time I tried, something terrible would come into my head. Whether it be my mother on her deathbed or the rape of my omega, I couldn't stop myself from seeing horrifying images every time I closed my eyes. I felt trapped and helpless to do anything for the people I loved. I couldn't go back to the past and save my boyfriend and I couldn't heal my mother. I was useless. Instead of sleeping, I spent my time watching over Benny, kissing his brow and playing with his hair whenever his expression changed in his sleep.

I thought of how he'd asked, or rather begged, for me to be a part his heat following the story of  his suffering. His request was so sweet and needy that I could never have turned him down in the moment. Hearing what my omega had been through at the hands of my kind changed how I saw things, though not in the way I'm sure he expected. Before, Benny had always seemed so out of reach to me. An unfortunate circumstance of unrequited love. Now, however, I couldn't imagine letting another hand touch him, for who else could possibly deserve to? A crazy part of my brain even felt like he belonged to me and that he always had, so of course his heat should be mine!

Then, there was the inexplicable sensation that things were changing. I could sense it in the air. I was changing, my life was changing. I would be losing my only family soon but gaining something else, a partner, or so I hoped. Joy and pain was yet to come, I just knew it, and I didn't know what I'd turn into when everything settled back into place. The undercurrent of rage I so often felt during my childhood reared it's ugly face once more and I thought back to my mothers story. Though I knew better, I let my mind wonder about the past I was never allowed to have.

Unsurprisingly, as my thoughts were already troubled over my relationship with Benny, I was now plagued with a new set of worries. What would have happened if I'd been given the right to claim that I was somehow part of Shadow Pack, instead of being considered an outcast? Would I be worthy of my little omega then? Or would I have ended up with someone else?

In theory, I felt I could have had a mate, in spite of the rules set by my parents deal. So what then? What if I hypothetically had one but I didn't know it because my mother had never been honest with me about my father? Would this supposed mate be okay without me or would my abandonment cause them to suffer? Maybe I didn't even have a mate and that was part of their deal? Then I had the worst of all thoughts.

What if Benny was supposed to be mine all along?

What if that's why I had always felt strong feelings of attachment towards him and why I could never walk away? From the moment I first laid eyes on him, I knew I had to get his attention. I was obsessed with showing off what a good Dom I could be for him when he didn't even know me. What if there was a reason behind that? And to that end, what if my failure to be born an alpha was the reason Benny had ended up so hurt and alone? He'd suffered through monstrous circumstances without me by his side, ready to be his protector.

I should have known what a nest was! I should have known what it meant to claim him and how to do it! Shouldn't I?

Of course, logically, this type of thinking could be a stretch of my imagination. Presumptuous even, but I couldn't shake the feeling that everything my sweet boyfriend had suffered through was somehow my fault. Fuck, was I crazy for thinking like this? For feeling responsible? Maybe I was just trying to justify why Benny should belong to me? Or, maybe I was right? Could I be right? And if I was, what did that mean for us?

I went back and forth with myself until my brain hurt and I forced myself to stop worrying about it. I was just a human after all, no matter who my father was. I had to remember that. My worries were probably for nothing. The only thing that really mattered was how I felt about the omega and, in that moment, I'd never been more thankful that he gave me the time of day and that he always came back to me.