Under the moonlight

chapter 8

"What if... what if you died that day for real?" Taehyung's voice cracks as he shouts. "What would I have done? What would I do without you, Jungkook?"

His hands tremble as he continues without taking a breath, "It's all my fault... it's all my fault. I shouldn't have been so stubborn. I should have been the one to reach out first, rather than waiting for your call. I should have known you were struggling so much because of me and my selfishness."

The weight of his guilt feels unbearable as he tries to shake off the image of Jungkook’s lifeless form from his mind, the thought of losing him forever haunting his every waking moment.

"Hyung, it's not your fault," Jungkook's voice rang out as he urged Taehyung to look up. Locking eyes with him, Jungkook's heart sank as he saw the lifeless, numb gaze staring back at him. "It's my fault for being a coward."

Long, silent tears began to flow down Jungkook's face, each landing softly on Taehyung's motionless features. Taehyung's eyes widened as they fell, drawing him back from his trance.

"Ah," Taehyung gasped, his fingers brushing against the warm tears on his cheeks with shock. His attention shifted to Jungkook, who struggled to maintain his balance on the crutches.

Taehyung instinctively stands up, his reflexes sharp as he grabs Jungkook by the shoulder, preventing him from falling.

With a firm yet gentle grip, he guides Jungkook to the couch, carefully helping him sit. As Jungkook bawls at Taehyung's concerned behavior, he feels his lowest.

Taehyung, now seemingly sobered, sits beside him, taking Jungkook's head on his shoulder and gently playing with his hair to soothe him.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt?" Taehyung's voice was laced with worry as his eyes scanned him for any signs of strain or worsening of injury.

"No, I'm fine," Jungkook mumbles between sobs, trying to calm himself down. "Do you feel okay? Why were you smoking so much and drinking? You never drink."

Taehyung looks away and goes silent, trying to avoid yet another conversation.

Jungkook can't help but furrow his brow in frustration. He wipes his tears and takes a deep breath. "Hyung," he sighs, "please talk to me."

"I like to drink now," Taehyung says through clenched teeth.

Jungkook straightened his posture, pulling away from Taehyung's shoulder, his expression hardening into a glare. "Why are you acting like this? Why won't you talk to me? This isn't like you,"

"People change, Jungkook. I've changed, and I'm sure you have too," Taehyung murmured.

Jungkook grimaces at what he heard.

"I know you want to talk about our breakup, and I know you want to explain, but I don't want to know," Taehyung admitted reluctantly.

"I don't want us to argue. I'm afraid I won't understand, and what if it overwhelms you and you ask me to leave?" He paused, unable to bear the thought of losing Jungkook again.

"I want to take care of you until you're well. Then, when I'm ready to consider all possible conclusions about our relationship, I'll listen to you," he finished, expressing his desire to protect their fragile connection.

"What?" Jungkook exclaimed. "You're being unreasonable. I'm well now. It's been months, and I'm even at home. I won't ask you to leave, I promise—" Hearing the word "promise," Taehyung frowned before abruptly getting up and leaving for the kitchen.

Jungkook watches Taehyung move away from the conversation once again, feeling particularly unheard and frustrated today. He senses the familiar silence settling between them, leaving him at a loss for words.

Despite his efforts to mend their relationship, it seems they are drifting further apart. He bites his lip and clenches his jaw, struggling to comprehend Taehyung's actions even the slightest bit.

Frustration wells up inside him, and he closes his eyes, attempting to calm himself and suppress the anger threatening to explode. Deep down, he yearns for understanding and a way to bridge their growing divide.

*

A fresh cup of coffee, reheated pancakes, scrambled eggs, and toast were placed in front of Jungkook on the table by the couch, all neatly set by Taehyung. Without saying a word, he heads out to the balcony to clean up the remnants of his mess.

He gathered the evidence of his early indulgence—cigarette butts and empty bottles. He worked quickly, disposing of everything and ensuring no traces were left behind.

As he swept the area, a pang of guilt tugged at him, but he buried it deep, focusing on the task at hand. Satisfied with the cleanup, he then returned and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

Meanwhile, Jungkook, despite his lack of appetite, forced himself to eat the breakfast Taehyung had prepared for him.

Each bite felt heavy, but he persisted, not wanting to dismiss Taehyung's gesture, even though a whirlwind of anger and frustration swirled within him.

‘Why did things have to get this complicated?’ Jungkook thought, stabbing at a piece of pancake with his fork. ‘Why can't we just talk about it?’

By the time Jungkook finished his meal, Taehyung reappeared, transformed from his earlier disheveled state. He was now dressed in a sharp suit and tie, his appearance immaculate.

The only hint of his earlier weariness was hidden beneath a layer of expertly applied makeup, concealing any signs of fatigue or stress, as if it were part of his routine.

Taehyung's expression was calm and composed, unlike the predicament that had transpired between them moments ago.

Jungkook couldn't believe the difference that had occurred in such a short time, which only made him realize how much Taehyung had been suffering alone and hiding his pain from him. Jungkook couldn't help but feel disappointed in himself for being the reason for it

As Taehyung glanced at the empty plates and cup on the table, he silently picked them up and carried them to the kitchen.

The clatter of dishes in the dishwasher echoed through the otherwise silent apartment. Just as Taehyung finished, the doorbell rang, breaking the quiet atmosphere.

It was Jimin, arriving right on time to take over the care of Jungkook while Taehyung went to the office. Taehyung greeted Jimin at the door with a brief smile, his demeanor composed despite the underlying tension.

Leaning closer, Taehyung whispered something in Jimin's ear, his words intended solely for him. Jimin nodded subtly before stepping inside.

Without turning back to look at Jungkook, Taehyung left the apartment, his departure as silent as his earlier actions.

As Jimin closed the apartment door with a soft click, Jungkook watched it shut with a sense of disappointment and longing in his eyes.