In Search of a Ray of Hope

Chapter 6

I grabbed all my things and headed to the librarian's desk for them to check my belongings. It was a routine we all went through before leaving the library. The librarian always checked our bags to ensure that no one took any books out without proper authorization. 

Ilang araw na akong pabalik-balik dito sa library, madalas kasama ko ang mga kaibigan ko dito pero this time inaayawan na nila ang library. Likas sa kanila ang kadaldalan kaya hindi talaga sila tatagal dito, ako na lang din ang nagpupumilit sa kanila na samahan ako dito pero ilang oras lang nila akong sasamahan, kaya madalas akong umaalis na magisa. Dito na rin ako minsan natutulog sa library lalo na kapag hindi ako nakakakuha ng sapat na tulog. Marami din kasi akong responsibilidad sa bahay lalo na't panganay ako, kaya halos ng mga gawaing bahay ako talaga ang gumagawa. Sa totoo lang, kulang sa akin ang 24 hours para matapos lahat ng mga kailangan kong gawin. 

 The librarian was busy checking my bag when suddenly, there was a loud thud behind me. Startled, I turned around and saw a familiar face. Thaddeus. I knew his name now because Aurora had told me. She had a knack for finding out information about people, thanks to her extensive network of friends and acquaintances. Thaddeus is from BS Civil Engineering, sa pagkakaalam ko madalas sa 7th floor and 8th floor sila nagkaklase kaya nakakapagtaka na madalas ko siyang nakikita sa 6th floor. Gets ko naman na kahit saan ako magpunta sa campus makikita at makikita ko siya pero nawiwirduhan ako sa tuwing nakikita ko siya laging nagtatama ang paningin namin o di kaya'y mahuhuli ko siyang nakatitig palagi sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. 

I frowned at the loud noise he made. Ano bang problema niya? Alam niya namang nasa  loob siya ng library kaya bakit siya gumagawa ng ingay? Papansin. 

"Uhm, excuse me," a voice said. 

  I didn't look up, unsure if the person was addressing me or someone else. I kept my eyes on the librarian, waiting for her to finish checking my bag. I was eager to leave the library, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. I knew the other students weren't looking at me; their attention was directed toward Thaddeus. But the fact that we were standing so close to each other made me feel self-conscious.

I heard Thaddeus clear his throat. "Excuse me," he repeated, this time a bit louder. I glanced sideways and saw that he was staring at me. "Ako ba?" I asked, pointing to myself. He nodded slowly. "Pwede ka bang maging respondent sa research namin?" he asked, his voice shy. He looked down and smiled a bit, but his smile quickly faded as he cleared his throat again. "Sure, anong kailangan gawin?" I responded. 

Wala namang masama kung papayag ako, para na rin kapag kami na ang maghahanap ng respondents makahanap agad kami. Tutulungan ko na lang ang mga kagaya nila para matulungan din nila kami. Alam ko kasi ang hirap kapag wala kang makitang respondents para sa research mo, napagdaanan ko na yan noong high school ako eh. Ilang araw kaming nanlumo ng mga kagrupo ko noon para lang sa respondents. 

"Later, ka-out mo," he said, then hurriedly left the library.

As he rushed out, my eyes glanced at the librarian's desk. There, I noticed he had left his handkerchief. "Naiwan ng kaibigan mo," the librarian said, handing it to me. I was about to respond when a group of students approached the desk to have their belongings checked. My mouth was half open, ready to explain that Thaddeus was not exactly a friend, but I closed it and decided to leave instead. Mukha ba kaming magkaibigan ni Thaddeus sa lagay kung paanoo kami magusap? Eh ang awkward nga ng interaction namin kanina. Pwede naman kasing itabi na lang muna sa library eh, magkakaroon pa ako ng responsibilidad na ibalik 'to sa kaniya. Sabagay, magkikita naman kami mamaya para sa survey. Ibabalik ko na lang sa kaniya 'to mamaya.