Delusional Desires

Chapter 1

Beep beep beep I groaned as I heard my alarm. I was in no mood to get up. I never am though. After a few minutes I reluctantly get up and I turn off my alarm and question why I make the alarm so loud every morning.

I look over at my calendar then my heart drops. Somehow I forgot that today was the day, the date if you will,the anniversary whatever you wanna call it it's today. Today is the day I can't believe I forgot it. I mean who forgets the eight year mark of the worst day of your life.

Apparently I mean who forgets the death of her father I mean I should probably be easier on myself. It happened ten years ago but still. My mom pretends it never happened. Sometimes it was like he never even existed at least to her I remember it like ever small insignificant detail.

I was playing with my little stuffed animal. It was supposed to be a puppy. I was obsessed with it. I would always pretend that it was alive and was actually my pet. I was nine. I remember the weather was heavy rain and thunderstorms. I always liked storms as a kid but even I felt uneasy about this night. I was playing in my bedroom on the carpet my dad walked on. I always could hear heavy footsteps "honey I know I told you that i'd play with you but something came up and i got called in again sweetie". He said it so calmly as if he was staying strong for me "Its ok dad" I replied even as a kid I understood that being a high class detective means that stuff happens. He left and a couple hours later there was a knock at the door at this time I was in the living room and so was my mom. She got up and walked to the door having a confused look on her face. We usually don't get many visitors. She opened the door and it was Kieran my dads detective partner it was weird they were inseparable but it was only him 'where is he' my moms voice is dripping with worriedness with sorrow in his eyes. He said "there was a shooting, he was caught in the crossfire" my mom gasped and then the tears flooded down her cheeks. I just blacked out. I don't remember what happened after that.

That immediately ruined my mood completely but I have to go on with my life. Unfortunately professors at college won't take the anniversary of my fathers death as an excusable absence. I don't think atleast im not brave enough to try it. I started getting this gut wrenching feeling that I was being watched. I know this feeling way too well. I've felt it alot I felt that I needed to get out of my house. Maybe even to the police station to see Keiran and how he's handling everything. I'm sure he is doing horrible things like usually he blames himself for my dads death. I don't blame him. How could I he is the closest thing I have to a father figure even though sometimes he doesn't believe that he would be a good father.

I brush through my tangled honey blonde hair I squint my eyes in pain as I quickly brush my hair. Then I go to my closet and pick out an outfit. After about 10 minutes I decided to settle on black high waisted leggings and a casual dark green crop top with a star. The print of the star looked faded. I liked the vintage feel of that. As I was changing I got goosebumps and hairs stuck up on the back of my neck. It feels like I'm being watched. I try to ignore that feeling.

I looked at myself in my white body mirror. It had a picture of me with my dad taped to it on the corner. My gaze drifted to that my heart felt heavy so I just took a couple deep breaths.

It normally takes me 10 minutes to get to the police station this time 15 because I took a detour to get coffee. After I got my drink I walked to the police station. It was busy with so much noise everywhere, phones ringing at different times so many voices it overwhelmed me. My breath quickened then I felt someone touch my shoulder I jumped slightly and I turned around and it was kierran I sigh in Relief.