THE BOY NEXT DOOR (TAEKOOK LOVE STORY 18+)

Part 6

It took everything in him but Jungkook managed to let go, leaving Taehyung pining after him, his face filled with disappointment when his suddenly free arms slid down the wall.

Jungkook stepped away, avoiding Taehyung's gravity that was bound to pull him back in if he stayed too close. His eyes made Jungkook's heart hurt.

Pushing fingers through his hair in desperation, Jungkook kicked himself for letting go of control so carelessly. He chanted loudly in his mind, reminding himself of the reasons why he had to stop, and why he shouldn't start again, but that didn't help his hands feeling cold and empty without Taehyung filling them.

Jungkook realised that this was the moment he needed to come clean.

He had regretted not saying anything a decade ago, he wasn't going to repeat his mistake -he'd rather be sad than not know.

He gripped Taehyung's chin between his fingers until the soft, hazy gaze found his.

Despite the fear he was feeling in the pit of his stomach, Jungkook spoke from his heart.

"I don't want to be just anyone to you Taehyung. If you can pick up any guy and go home with him, then go do that. Don't ask me to go with you just because you want to forget that idiot. I'm not doing that again." Finally, he had admitted it. That they both knew. That he remembered.

Taehyung's stare was unblinking and for a moment Jungkook felt his stomach lurch, regret blooming inside him.

"You're not asking me to marry you, are you?" Taehyung's lips twisted into a sarcastic smile but he stalled when he saw how serious Jungkook was being.

"No."

When Taehyung saw the small shake of the hanging head and the whisper of a smile on Jungkook's face, he felt relieved that his teasing hadn't caused upset.

The sarcasm, the jokes, they came out as an instantaneous defence mechanism when anything even potentially meaningful was being discussed, and it was something that Taehyung had little power over. Taehyung never was very good with serious, it scared him.

But for Jungkook he was willing to try.

"What then?" Taehyung's voice was quiet, no longer a trace of jest in it because all of a sudden, he felt vulnerable.

There were too many revelations and too many emotions in this one conversation already. Too much history. Taehyung wasn't comfortable with any of those.

Jungkook's voice was quiet but steady.

"I want you to want me for me and not as a replacement for something or someone or as a filler for your emptiness, or to stop you from feeling what you're most afraid of..."

Taehyung's eyes looked so large and vulnerable that they reminded Jungkook of times past. This was the first moment he had seen the Taehyung he had known ten years ago and not all the defences, façades and barricades that he had built against the world.

"What's that...?" He asked with a small voice, despite feeling almost too scared to do so. His voice was quiet and tight and he gulped, visibly.

"...lonely. You're most afraid of feeling lonely."

A single word that meant so much to Taehyung, hearing it from Jungkook. From him, it held too much meaning, too much understanding, just too much of immeasurable kindness.