FEELING FOR FAYE PROUD

Chapter Thirteen

Joe looked at the steering wheel of his car. It was brand new, a reward from one of his bosses. He looked at the telephone poll and began to wonder when he should call. He sighed heavily as he undid his seat belt and walked up. The steps of his shoes making a 'click' sound. He dialed the numbers the man told him to dial. He waited patiently and when the ringing finally stopped he began to speak slowly.

"Wayne Blitz is headed to New Mexico. He's taking a girl with him too. Do you know the name, Faye Pearl? She's related to the boss isn't she?"

"She is. Is she working with him?"

"No... no, I don't think so." Joe began to wonder about all the things she's done to make him slightly suspicious. "She knows who he is though. They're like... dating." Joe didn't really want to say it. He does like her just not in the way Faye was told.

"What part of New Mexico are they going to?"

"I don't know. I did some digging, they're meeting a guy named Dallas. He's one of Connors brothers, right?" Joe heard an odd grunt come out of the man's lips.

"You're gonna follow them. You gotta find out what those two are up to." Joe took a deep breath and shook his head.

"Listen, I don't think Faye is apart of anything. We should— leave her outta this. Its' Wayne we want."

"I don't think you understand how this business works. If she's coming along the boss will want her to be safe if she isn't working with him. It's all about doing what's right. Fuck all your morals, J. This is the job, this is what you signed up for. We're gonna fax you some documents. You'll know where they are and you're gonna follow them." Joe nodded his head. "It sounds like, to me, they're gonna go on a vacation. A young man who's been through the entire continental US and a girl who hasn't even gone out of her state. Keep an eye on his movements. Keep an eye on their conversations. See anybody write their name down and write notes on what they were doing. This is a big job for you, J."

"If I succeed in all of this stuff and get all the intel. What's next for me?"

"You'll meet The Boss. You'll be meeting the girls father." Joe nodded his head.

"Alright. I'll take this seriously. Can I get my hands dirty?" Joe asked with a small smile on his lips. Waiting for the perfect answer.

"As long as it's for the mission. Don't get reckless out there, J. I know you've only been in this gig for a few months. But everyone here has some pretty high expectations. Take care now, J."

"You too. Will I be seeing you in New Mexico?"

"You might be. W.B is gonna die in three weeks. I'm getting my fucking revenge. Killing my father, and leaving my sister to die out there in the desert. He's going to fucking die." Joe widened his smiled and nodded his head.

"Bye, M.T."

"Bye." Joe looked at the time and began to look around his surrounding. He wasn't ever paranoid. But this time, he felt like he was. He's been working with this 'gang' for awhile now. Since the beginning of his school year. Ever since Wayne came to town he's been dealt some pretty lucky cards. Even seeing him in the flesh.

Joe didn't know how to feel about Faye. He thinks she's pretty and has a pretty bland personality. He finds other girls with the same kind of bland personality pretty attractive. Joe feels slightly angry that she lies about her personality all the time. He never wnet out of his way to find out what kind of women she is, he never felt the need to. But for the past few weeks he's beginning to think about things.

One thing about Joe, is that he truly hated his life. He never was happy, nor did he ever try to go out of his way to be happy. He was a kind soul. He tried his best none stop. Weather it was with school, family, or even himself, he still never felt accomplished. In his life, he was always first place, yet his happiness is second. His grades were exceeding, his popularity was well-known. His entire life, has always been good enough to be considered a person. Yet for such a long time, he's been distant with himself. Joe alway wanted a life beyond the one he was given. Joe has travelled so many places, yet to him they all meant nothing. They all meant completely, and utterly nothing. He never tried to find someone to cure him of this depression. He never thought that was the answer. But when Faye told him how excited she was to see the Grand Canyon, that's when things for him began to change. That's when he began to realise how intoxicating having someone right next to you truly is. He wants to love, but first he wants to know how to love himself.

Joe grew up in a broken family. He has a brother whos in New York, a sister in Texas, another brother who lives with him yet they never talk. He has a father who travels a lot more than he should. A mother who is worried of his father cheating on her. His younger sister passed away. She was fourteen and she ended her own life. The entire family was already separated by then, but her death made it worse. The funeral was silent, the graduation party for his siblings were silent too. The dinner table, quiet. He talked to his friends, they all said what they did over the weekend. Huh me? Oh me and my dad went fishing. Or, yeah I just went out to brunch with my mom, oh I just hung out with my siblings, played video games with my brother, I had a makeover with my sister, watched scary movies with my cousin, went out to see my nephews. He has nephews, he has brothers, he has cousins, he has a mother, he has a father, I went out to play Bingo with my Grandma, he has a grandmother, I went camping with my Grandfather, he has a grandfather. All of these endless relations with people you didn't have a choice of meeting. Yet these people made it work. They went out, they did things, they laughed and found things they both liked. But Joe? He has hobbies. Drawing, reading, writing and walking. Yet his mother? She liked watching reality TV, reading magazines, and doing puzzles. His sister liked climbing trees and talking to her friends and shopping. His older brother likes to study, he likes to do pottery and he likes cooking. All of these disconnecting hobbies that made Joe feel completely and utterly lost.

He went home to his father watching the News. "Dad." Joe said as he went over to the couch. "I have to go to New Mexico. For school. I wanna look at colleges."

His dad ate sunflower seeds. Joe heard the cracking of the shell and the saliva on his fathers tongue taking the seed away. His fathers eyes didn't leave the TV. His other hand was on the remote. "Ok," His father replied. "Tell your mother." Joe licked his lower lip and got up from the couch. He was used to this. These distant conversations. A conversation to fill the void.

"Alright. I'll go talk to mom." Joe heard the leather of the couch make a crunching noise as he got up. His jeans rubbing against his skin. "Hey mom." he said as he grabbed a coke from the fridge. He opened it carefully making sure it didn't explode on him. "I'm gonna go to New Mexico. I'll be back though."

"Why are you going?" she asked as she began to mix sugar, flour and eggs together. She didn't even look at him not once.

"Touring colleges."

"Oh I see." His mother said as she gripped a stirrer and began to mix the product together. "Okay well... maybe ask your brother to come with. That would be fun for him."

"No I can't. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Well why can't you take him?"

"He has school, mom. He has school..." Joe felt his heart break from her being so unaware of her own child's life.

"Oh... okay. I must've forgotten. Well then I guess it'll be just you. You need money?" She asked with a selfish and tired tone. "Ask your father if he has any spare cash for you." She dipped her pinky finger as she tasted the batter. "Mhm, tastes good." She said to herself. Almost as if his presence was so silent to her she didn't even wanna tell him.

"No... I think I'll be fine."

"Well what about gas, honey? And hotels? Are you flying there?"

"No. I'll drive there. But I'm good with money. I've been saving up." He replied to her. His left hand was leaning on the counter as his right held the coke bottle. He drank out of it slowly as he spoke. The dim light slightly flickering from a trapped moth banging on the class and light bulb.

"You saved up?"

"Mhm."

"From what?" His mother asking all of these questions from cluelessness made him slightly annoyed. But the more he spoke to her the more patient he began to get. He took a deep breath, saving her of lashing out. He looked out the window. It was almost night time.

"From... Lee's cafe."

"Oh! Right! Ha! I always forget these things." you mean my entire life? You mean my brothers entire life? You mean our entire life you've fucking forget! These silly fucking things is your kids entire fucking life!

"Okay." I fucking hate you. I hate the way you don't care, I hate the way you pretend. You lie, you lie to me not to keep our relationship but to distance it! Go fuck yourself. "Well I'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

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right right. Joe is a very fun character to write.