THE CURSED QUEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY - ONE

(not edited enough)
The picture above is Melanie and Sabrina baby picture.

The school garden seems to be blossoming more than the last time I was here. Sab wanting to speak to me came as a shock to not just me, but to the whole school. So here we are sitting on a bench in the school garden with a good amount of space between us, totally staring at nothing.

“Why did you call me here Sabrina?” I ask before I go mad from the thick tension between us.

“Hypatios said to speak to you” she whispers, but I hear her clearly. Hmmmm so this is Tios doing. He also told me to speak to her, and I didn't listen but she did. Hmmm? Does that mean she likes him enough to listen to him—-- ok Melanie, hold that thought and focus.

“That's not good enough reason Sabrina” I shift in my seat, trying to get away from her as much as possible, the hand of the bench poking my side tell me I can't.

“Why?” I am absolutely taken aback by her question.

“What do you mean why?” I question quite confused, she twirls the tendrils of her hair in between her fingers before puffing out air from her mouth.

She turns to me, her face moving from neutral to anger to sadness then anger again.

“Why did you date Dean when you knew how much I loved him?” she yells, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I scoff.

“Did you really call me here for that?” I can't hide the disdain in my voice. She is so annoying, I thought she changed, but no, she is still selfish.

“What do you mean? You betrayed me. You knew I was in love with him yet you still dated him BEHIND MY BACK!!!!” she screams in tears, shooting up from the bench.

She falls to the floor crying hard, rubbing her hand aggressively on her thighs then scratches her head before screaming again.

Yes, Sabrina is autistic. While growing up it was hard for her, really hard. She got picked on a lot, that's how we became friends because I was always picked on too.

We became best friends at age seven, so as time went on she learnt to be less hyper and nerve racking that is when she is around strangers. When she is with people she is comfortable with she acts herself. She rarely breaks down like this.

“What about me?” my voice cracks, she raises her head a little, her eyes glassy from the tears, I really want to comfort her, but I dont move.

“You killed them, if you had listened to me, and told Dean not to go. He would have stayed and none of it would have happened. You wanted to be with your boyfriend so bad, you ignored my warning. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” she screams, thrashing her feet in the grass.

“I would have tried to stop him if I knew. I loved him—-”

“ Of course you were both in love. I knew that even if you tried to hide it from me” her voice is hoarse, her face red from tears.

It was at that precise moment something snapped in me and I said fuck it.

“Fuck you Sabrina, you are so selfish and self-centered” I snap at her. She goes red from anger, but I don't care, I am too angry to care.

“I loved Dean and Shawn. Shawn was like a father to me and you know this–” I stop pointing my finger at a Sabrina I can barely see due to my tears.

“You knew everything Alex was doing to me, you knew how much I hated him even when my mom and Julie didn't. You out of everyone knew that I loved Shawn as my father. So, you of all people should know how much it hurt me when he died” I scream at her, my tears uncontrollable.

My whole body is shaking from relieving that moment. I never told Sabrina what happened because it was too painful to relieve and I was kind of glad she never asked. She decided that bullying was a better punishment.

“You caused it!!! You could have told Dean to stay that night. You guys were so eager to have your time alone without me being a third wheel” she cries out. The Jealousy burning through her is outrageous. She is wrong, very wrong.

“No, you are wrong it's not like that” I say, shaking my head.

“Then what was it? What was so important that–”

“You were so important!” I yell out, my being slumps from finally letting it out, but I can't stop there not now.

“Dean was in love with you”I screamed at her. She looks shocked shaking her head. She tugs at her hair so hard, I am not sure how it's not pulled out yet.

“No, no, no” she denied.

“Yes, he was in love with you. He told me at the festival and since then I had been planning how to get him to tell you because he was scared you would reject him and that would ruin your friendship. All those times he leaned in to whisper in my ear, it was always about how beautiful you looked or how your eyes twinkled from a smile or how you tug on your lips when you are nervous or how much he loved your little giggle. Every single time it was about YOU!!” I finally let it out, panting hard. She gasps, more tears staining her face.

“That night he begged me to follow him to the store to get a flower for you, he wanted to ask you out that night. I tried to tell him to stay but he refused saying he couldn't wait anymore. When the accident happened his last words were to tell you how much he loved you” my voice cracks even more, it's so painful to remember.

“Why didn't you tell me this, I could have understood you” she chokes on her tears.

“Understood me?”I point at my chest.

“No matter how much you know, you could never understand me because you weren't there. You weren't the one who got run over by a truck, you weren't the one who begged Shawn to save Dean and go, you weren't the one who watched as Shawn got stuck in the car after saving me, you weren't the one who got blown away when the car exploded. YOU WERE NOT THE ONE WHO WATCHED THEM DIE WHILE YOU LAID HELPLESSLY ON THE GROUND!!” I screamed it all out, finally 8 said it out. My heart is aching badly.

“I didn't know, I am so sorry. I just assumed you were dating” her voice is breaking badly
I know she will get sick, but I just can't bring myself to comfort her, I can't bring myself to care.

“You never wanted to know because if you did you would not have tried to kill me at the funeral. You suck Sabrina, you suck!!” I know I shouldn't say this to her, but I can't help it.

“You suck at being a sister, a friend. So what if you thought we were dating, that gave you no right to hate me that much. You robbed me of my right to be there at the funeral to show my last respect, my last love” I am so glad I am sitting on a bench. If not, I would be a heap mess on the floor by now.

“Even if you loved him, I loved him too. So I felt even worse pain because I watched him die. You could not even be there for me as a friend” I sob, my voice is barely above a whisper. I can't bring myself to shout again, I am too exhausted to do that.

“I am so sorry Melanie” she murmurs, covering her mouth with her hands. With a loud exhale, I wipe off my tears with the back of my hands.

“I am sorry please don't walk away” she says as soon as I stand up to leave. I know I should stay with her, knowing Sabrina she would start cussing and blaming herself. I know I should stay to reassure her that it's not her fault, but I can't. It hurts to even look at her afterall I am human too.

“Melanie please!!” she pleads, I don't stop walking until I am out of her sight.