first edit: 07-14-24
second edit: 08-16-24 (i got SO bothered on how strongly passive aggressive i was on the first edit, i had to revise some parts or else di ako makakahinga nang maayos lmao)
hi there my best muse, been a hot minute since i last got a piece of your thoughts.
i have loads to tell you and i dont know where to start pero i guess a story time on how i got to this point will do, because in all honesty i actually did forget abt this account😆.
im not sure why but something inside me randomly remembered this one very specific phrase i used to say all the time "big fat cry", and i got curious kung kanino ko siya na-chat-surprise surprise siyempre it had to be you, of all people. i got curious naturally, clicked on our messages and got hurt ulit. its on you kung gusto mong ire-read pero i suggest that you dont kasi ew.
ayun, i got reminded of your existence ulit (ang eme😆), edi nasaktan nanaman si bading. you know, of all the friendship heartbreak i ever experienced, you were the worst. i think i deserve to say atleast that much. but hey, i lived.
maybe because naalala kita, or because i saw sa chats mo asking if ill still update sa wattpad basta idk why but i just had this strong urge to download wattpad ulit. i was trying to get into my account pero this account opened instead. which, mind you, ay nalimutan ko na talaga basta siguro napindot ko accidentally or baka kasi naka save yung profile na to sa phone ko ewan ko din talaga (i still dont know paano nangyaring dito ako napunta kasi deleted naman na sa phone ko yung gmail neto😨). pero ayun, i checked the profile out and imagine me getting very confused bakit may nakapost na coquette na pusa sa profile.
i still cant believe you made an effort to actually write something for me, even while reading it feeling ko nananaginip lang ako kasi parang hindi ikaw yun, kumbaga parang di mo branding, baka nahack ganun.
di ko alam mafefeel ko honestly pero i appreciate you so much. i have to thank you big time for doing this for me, very VERY brave of you. despite knowing na i might not even be able to read it you still made the effort, thank u so mu- lol anyway. i appreciate you very much kasi you might not know it pero something in that long letter you made gave me the closure i needed, answered many questions you left (edit: yan ksi bat mo kasi ni-hurt si self, eme WHAJWHAKSHA)
hinanakit segment: optional to read, pero do yourself a favor wag mo na basahin pls HWHAHWHHA???
you know what hurt me the most out of all the things you did? its the fact na you kept on asking for assurance if we'll chat pa, but when i was making effort you made me feel as though im not important ulit. (boogsh, cno k jan str8 english si ate ko)
oa ako. you, of all people, should know that. i feel things bigger than usual, i overthink things more than i care about myself. kaya when the last time i tried to make conversation with you (aka me trying so desperately hard to get even a reaction from you) and you didn't even opened my chats? i just knew right then and there na i had to stop, because i know i deserved far better.
i think you should be aware though na im legit crying (iyakin thingz), ironically enough the big fat cry did eventually come, a year later nga lang.
forgive me if super all over the place ngayon mga sinulat ko dito its 3:51 AM now after all. (note: sa sobrang all over the place literal isang buwan akong di makatulog nang maayos kasi ang passive aggressive at harsh ko talaga😆).
out of all the things i want to tell you, i just want to let you know na if you really do want to rekindle, im very open (na medyo hindi). im still me after all, kilala mo ako. but the catch is, this time, it has to be you making the effort:P (which you prolly won't do kasi knowing you, you dont rlly do first moves when it comes to these typpa things pero i dont mind, its okei, you do you boo)
no pressure intended though, i just have to make sure na you really mean it when you say you dont want to lose me, kasi after everything that happened, i think its safe and valid for me to say na im done being treated less than what i know i deserve. (edit: sabi sayo e, passive aggressive yan sha, dont mind her tho)
thank you ulit for this! you might've broken a part of me, yes. but through your letter, you healed that part of me too.
take care always, bea!! ill always be here for you (terms and conditions apply lmao)
p.s. bahala ka magfigure out which parts i had to edit out HAHAHAHAHA also we never lived in marinduque, masbate yun beh😭🤣
yun lang BYE😆🫶🏼 (i can finally sleep in peace now knowing na naedit ko na to)
