Why me..?👤

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-Damian

*This is so hard. the life is so hard for me. i perfer to stay alone my whole life. i hate myself. who ever gonna  love me? i hate meeting new people. i hate when someone wants to talk to me. I hate everythng!!

i dont have  any friends in neighborhood. i dont want to.I have always been lonely and I will always be lonely. Deep in my heart, I want to be loved by someone besides my parents. I want to love someone. And love me too. I want to be attractive but I can't, I just can't. everyone thinks im a bad person...*


These are the words of 2 years ago... the situation has changed a little.. a person appeared in my life whom I fell in love with at first sight. Love was a pleasant feeling. Very pleasant.. I fell in love for the first time, I felt my heart beat faster than ever when I saw her.. Her long brown hair, deep green eyes, enchanting red lips, attractive body, in short, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I fell in love with her.. I fell in love with Bethany. At first sight... i love her.

  *My love for you is like the ocean,

Vast and deep, in constant motion,
Endless, timeless, forevermore,
A love that flows to the shore.*

bro i cant no more, i became crazy, i cant controle myself of loving beth. love in me,  started become a poet from me. this is crazy, i haven't talked to her. and my sister knows her for 1 year. i hate myself. i feel like im dumbass hole. i wish i could travel in the  past and meet her when my sister met her. i wish that i  talk to her, but i cant...

20:32 monday

i was feeling horrible. i needed to go walk and think about my life.  everytime i think, bethany pops in my thoughts and wont go..   outside was little cold and windy, I put on my jacket and went for a walk. Daphne was teaching and doing some homework, I didn't go upstairs to warn her that I was going for a walk for a while. During the walk, as usual, I fell on Bethany. I walked and thought for about 20 minutes. Suddenly I hear a voice... I heard a very familiar voice..

-how you love him

-i love him so freaking much! damian is my ev-

what the actual fu*k?! WHAT JUST I HEARD RIGHT NOW?!  NO NO NO THIS CANT BE TRUE... DID BETHANY SAID THAT?! WTF?! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE....

i ran so fast as i can. i felt dinosaurs jumping in my stomach. i was shocked. i ran to the locke lake. i was shaking. i lay on the grass and started laughing. i felt different. i felt that i was no more alone. there was a humen who i love the most and she loves me the most. the best feeling i ever felt in my life. i love the way she said ''freaking much'' oh my god im so in love i cant breathe.

but... why me? Why did she fall in love with me? What did she like about me? I'm an insensitive person who can't express any emotions. I am the person who hates everything good. How could a boy like me fall in love with a beautiful and dreamy girl Angelivite? Just looks? I can't say anything bad about my appearance, I work hard to look good. Maybe she just liked the look. But I love her nside. I was drawn to her enchanting spirit. i love her deep inside..

23:7

it was too late and too cold. lake was so beautifuli in the moonlight. pretty just like beth. i get up and walked home. when i get home, nobody was there. i go upstairs to check daphne. so boring she was still learning. i walked in my bedroom layed on the bed and turn on my phone. i wanted to watch some videos in tiktok. before i open the app, i saw the messages from unknow preson. i clicked the message and saw.

*hey damian, look im so sorry for what you heard today, this is not true. the thing i just  said is not true. im so sorry for bothering you.*

my herat stopped working.  i knew it... i knew it i knew it....  this was impossable. no no no! i didnt text her back.. i was disappointed.  my whole body was crying. crying like a  kid. my  heart broke like a glass. It was impossible. How could she fall in love with me with whom I have never spoken in my life. It was incredible. I hate her... why could she messaged to me so coldly? I hate her! Disgust! how my heart hurts, I feel the fragments of my heart in my body. how I loved, My love for her died. One message changed everything. I hate her!!!!

I knew that she was not the kind of girl I imagined, I knewit ! Terrible, unbearable, disgusting, I hate her even though I don't know her close, I hate her because she messaged this horrible thing to me. I hate her terribly. How I want to beat her, but she is a girl. How I want to message something cold but I can't. im not like her. now i know what kind of person she is. no no no i want to message her so coldly. I must write immediately. I picked up the phone, went into the messages, clicked my finger to an unknown user, and started writing. * What a disturbing person you are. You are playing on my nerves. You are a terrible person!*

*seen*

*typing..*

*stoped typing*

she deserves that 100%. disgusting bitch.  

I   H A T E   H E R   T H E   M O S T   !  !  !

   

woah so drama thing is going on here :>

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