Holder

The Truth

I wake up disappointed. I never wanted this day to come. I am supposed to see my therapist today but I minus well not. He is supposed to die! Ugh I hate my life. At least I didn't have a dream last night. Probably because I kept thinking of my diary. I just want this day to pass. Maybe it won't happen though.

I go downstairs and say hello to my family. I also realized last night that I should just accept the fact of my new family because I can't change it.

I sit down, eat my cereal, and almost fall head first on the table. WOW! I must be really tired. I finish my food and go back upstairs. My mom follows me to ask if I am okay. I shrug it off and say I can't change it. She lies down with me and gives me a hug. She says it's alright.

I then remember about my roses and tell mom. She says, "Sorry, how about we go get new ones to plant in Racheal's honor." I jump up and say okay but I have to get dressed.

When I am dressed I wait outside for her. She then comes and we are headed on our way. As we are going I feel guilty inside and I tell her about the dream of Racheal and how the next one was my therapist. She then looks over at me and pulls the car over. She looks around to make sure nobody is there and asks me the exact dreams I have been having. When I tell her, her face gets more scared by the minute.

When I am finished she tells me, " You are just like me. I had a dream that I was going to adopt someone and well here you are. You are very rare. You are what people call holders. You can be good but in your case bad. When something bad happens in your life you hold bad dreams in you. Then when you have a good life the bad dreams come out, so good dreams can come. There is a way to stop it but we can't talk here. Let's go to the store and get your stuff then head home. During your appointment we will talk more. You see your therapist is one too, that is how we know eachother"

When she says that my heart starts to race. Then the question pops into my head what if there isn't an appointment? What if he is already dead?

I keep it to my self and wait patiently to get to the store. When we are there my mom acts more fidgety by the minute. We leave within ten minutes of getting there and then head home. When we are heading home the ground starts to shake and we pull over. At that moment I knew my therapist was dead!