You were never meant to have my full time heart.
I don't know any other way to be.
I only live in technicolor.
I wanted to feel everything with you.
Yet I was made to feel like a part-time lover.
I gave you my body willingly. You took it with a greed I mistook for trust.
You were so careful not to make any promises.
So I filled those gaps in with my own hopes.
I'd lie in bed awake for hours dissecting every word, every text.
Feeling trapped in my own mind.
God, the hold you had on me.
And now I'm frightened of these feelings.
So I hide them away and take them out sometimes to hold in my heart.
Not wanting to part with them for just anyone.
I've lived in between wanting and needing.
Because I want to feel everything.
-fever_sleep
