Who Really Shot Trump

Blitz was just in his office sobbing over Stolas breaking up with him.

Moxxie: Sir, we have work to do-

Blitz: SHUT UP MOXXIE YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT IS!

Moxxie: I was literally with Chaz before he left me to get fucking arrested while he takes all the fucking money. And he SA'ed me when we were at Crimsons mansion.

Blitz: SHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moxxie: Anyways we have a client who's been waiting for you for a few hours now.

Blitz: OH BOY NEW CILENT THAT WILL KEEP ME DISTRACTED! BRING THEM IN!

The client comes in who was revealed to be a 16 year old teenage girl who just got killed and sent to hell. She was taking the form of a Frankenstein.

?: It's about damn time you fucking-

Her hand falls off and try's to crawl away from her before he grabs it and attaches it back.

?: Always with the goddamn hand! Anyways, the names Stich.

Stitch: I know I'm only 16, but I really need Trump dead so if you could take in 16 year old clients like me, that'd be just fucking swell.

Blitz: Wait hold up....You want us to kill Donald Trump?

Stich: He's the reason I'm dead dumass. My mom was a huge Trumpster, and when I told her that he was a shitty person, she tied me up before cutting off all my body parts and made sure to make it as slow as possible.

Blitz: Dang! And I thought I was fucked up!

Stich: So I need you to kill Trump so that she kills herself and gets sent to hell.

Blitz: The only thing is that we have been close to getting caught by humans many times-

Stich: I'll pay you a million hell bucks.

Blitz: YOU GOT YOURSELF A FUCKING DEAL!

Blitz: MILS MOX GET YOUR ASSES UP HERE RIGHT NOW!

Moxxie: What?

Blitz: WE ARE GOING TO KILL TRUMP!

Millie: YAY!

Moxxie: Isn't that a bit risky-

Blitz: SHUT UP YOU FATHERLESS ASS! LETS GOOOOOOOO! Hey Loonie wanna come?

Loona: Only because I want Trump dead.

The gang teleports to the rally where Trump was giving on of his braindead speeches or something. They were hiding in a spot to make sure not to get caught.

Trump: PROJECT 2025 COOL!

Blitz: Okay Moxxie, you're gonna shoot him since your shooting has gotten way better. As soon as Trump gets shot, we take a pic of his dead body before going back to hell.

Millie: I can't wait to see him in hell so I can make fun of him!

Moxxie gets out his shotgun, and aims at Trumps head. He shots, but unfortunately misses and gets his ear instead, which causes a panic among the crowd.

Blitz: Shit shit shit! What the fuck was that Moxxie!?

Moxxie: I didn't mean to-

Everyone stares at the imps and hellhound. Blitz grabs a random dude with a gun.

Blitz: He did it.

He sad before the gang quickly escape from the scene to teleport back home.

Loona: Not only are you a pussy, you somehow failed to fucking kill Trump.

Moxxie: Shut up.

Blitz: I will lower your pay.

Moxxie: Fuck me....

Millie: Come on y'all. He tried his best.

Blitz: Yeah yeah yeah.