bare | 18+

7. Everything, Everywhere

I'll be your baby
There's nothing better I'd rather do
I'm lost completely
I might as well be over the moon

•

I wince when I finally open my eyes after trying to trick myself into falling asleep again.

I don't want to wake up, but the sunlight beams through my sheer curtains and I can't sleep knowing my room isn't dark.

Patting my comforter in search of my phone, I eventually look over the edge of my bed to find it on the floor and pick it up. It's almost 4 p.m. and I'm still in bed.

What was I up to last night?

I tug the scrunchie out of my falling-out bun and slip on my sweatpants pooled on the floor before dragging myself to the bathroom.

My heartbeat picks up when I hear a faint voice other than my grandma's down the stairs. I'm still a bit unfamiliar with the neighbors—maybe Heidi is familiar with someone I'm unaware of. Could be family, could be a friend, I don't know. I just quietly shut the door behind me.

I start the shower before stripping out of my clothes and stepping inside. Instead of covering my hair, I let the warm water run through my scalp and curls, and down my body. Even with the sound of water loudly hitting the tiled floor and glass wall, it's not enough to stop my head from roaming with thoughts I'd rather set aside—thoughts about Roman.

Whoever said high school would be the best and worst few years of your life was a liar. It was just the worst and I cannot wait to get them over with. The idea of reminiscing over years of deceit, lies, and drama is almost comical to me. Attending Lakewood will never be memorable. All it has ever done to people is chew them up and spit them out.

There is something dark and bleak about walking through its halls every week. I see it in the corrupt staff like Damien, in the twisted students like Nico, and somewhat in the eyes of Roman. Roman. Roman is the same yet oh-so-different. There's this natural, ominous feeling behind the void of his dark eyes. It isn't any effect of Lakewood, it's him. Those deep, reddish-brown irises that made contact with mine during the first few weeks of school—they already had it.

Whenever he looks at me, I find myself wanting to be consumed by him. I want to fall victim to his effortless antics just so I can get a taste. Of what? I don't even know. I just have this certain urge to have him.

I sigh, pushing my hair out of my face.

It's absurd and difficult to explain, but I can't be the only one who feels this way. I've heard the way girls would gossip about him and seen their eyes follow his frame whenever he walks by. That makes this okay. It's fine. It's not just me.

...Right?

***

Today is the day.

My uniform is freshly washed and ironed. I decided to switch something up today which is my hair—neatly slicked into a half-up half-down hairstyle and tied with a piece of lacey ribbon. There is a certain glow to my face despite my typical blank expression. My signature floral scent is a hint sweeter. The uniform I've worn for the past four years somehow fits better than usual today.

I feel great, and I need someone to slap the shit out of me.

Today is Wednesday and I will go through with speaking to Roman after that horrid nightmare I endured the other day.

You'd think I'd learn my lesson after what happened the day that prick kicked me out of his car and what happened with Nico. It's like wherever trouble is anticipated, I follow—like a fool at that.