In A Different Time

Chapter 23

"It was the holiday season. Noah would always come home every Christmas Eve morning. He planned to arrive a day earlier to surprise us. Whenever he comes home from college, he always gives me my favorite candy as a present. He called his best friend when he stopped by a diner and he told him he forgot my candy. So, he decided to go to the store before going home. God, I wish he didn't bother."

My voice was cracking as I recalled the memory. Of course, I have to be careful telling him this; not to reveal anything from the future. I have to tell him that's applicable in his timeline. James listened quietly and I continued on. "When he arrived in town, he asked to be dropped off at the store so he could buy the candy. He was about to go to the cashier when a masked man entered the store with a gun in his hand. It was a robbery. There were four people inside that store. Noah, mother and son and the one behind the cashier.

He demanded money and the employee quickly did as told. A bystander saw everything and called the police. The robber took the boy as hostage when the police arrived. Noah being Noah couldn't stand there and watch. So, he charged at the robber; saving the kid. But, he got shot in the chest twice. The police arrested the robber and quickly helped my brother. He died before reaching the hospital."

"That was very brave of him." he gently took my hand. "Your brother is a hero."

"He is but I can't help feeling it's my fault that he died." I admitted. I blamed myself for what happened. He could still be alive if it wasn't for me. My eyes casted down with guilt.

He gently lifted my chin up with his thumb. "Now, why do you think it's your fault, Grace?"

"Because... he didn't need to go to the store just to buy me my favorite candy. I don't mind not getting anything. He would still be alive. He would still be with us."

"Angel, that's out of your control. None of that is your fault." James cupped my cheeks and his comforting green eyes stared back at me. "So, get that thought out of your head. I'm sure your brother doesn't want you blaming yourself for what happened." He released his hold on me and held my hand instead.

"We know who he was. The robber I mean. He was our neighbor."

"You're neighbor did that? Why would he do such a thing?"

"He was drowning in debt because of his gambling problem. He owed a lot of people, even dangerous ones. His wife couldn't longer take it so she left him along with their kids not wanting her children to be part of his problems. My parents are scared every time someone comes knocking on his door when I'm alone at home while they're at work. It was nerve wrecking for them. Taya, my best friend, the one I told you about earlier, she didn't like the idea too so she offered for me to stay at her place whenever my parents were at work. Her mom agreed that it was best for me to stay at their place. Anyway, he was desperate to find money to pay off his debt so that's why he planned to rob the store. I was at Taya's house when it happened. If I only knew, I would go there and—"

"Then, you would have been hurt. What could you have done if you were there? Imagine what your brother would do if he saw you anywhere near that place? Do you think you could have helped in that situation? What can you do? You won't do any help. You'll just be in the way." I could feel the anger from his hard tone. Tears kept flowing down my cheeks. I knew he wasn't mad at me and I also knew my reason was unreasonable and irrational. But, it hurts to hear it out loud. It's a confirmation for me that I'm completely useless if I was there. Either way I couldn't save him.

James sighed deeply and pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry that was harsh for me to say. I'm sorry. I'm not disregarding your pain or you wanting to save your brother. Hell, even I think of ways on how to save my mom and Frank from dying. But, one thing I've come to realize is that there are some things you can't control. There are things that will happen and there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to let it go even if it's too painful for you to bear. You have no fault. That's how I perceive life so far."