Pov y/n
I open my eyes
Good news, my bed is soft
Bad news...nothing was a dream, I'm surrounded by women who appear to be naked in my bed Bad news 2, I need to pee
I struggle to get out, and make it to the toilet
Once in and after I finish my business I feel someone behind me
I turn and see a bald guy look at me
Ichibei: hello Yhwach successor
Y/n: my name is y/n you weirdo
Ichibei: mine is ichibei, but you will call me the one who named everything in the soul society
Y/n: look dude...I'm not going to lie, you look like a pedo and you're a gross ass bald guy, and I hate bald guys...and besides it's home invasion
Ichibei: tell me, what is your main goal?
Y/n: si il y a but de la main la VAR annule chef
Ichibei : you do not understand? I asked you what your objectives as new emperor of the quincies
Y/n:you mean my ultimate goal?
Ichibei: exactly
Y/n: my biggest dream is to become cashier at Supreme market, the perfect mall, the natural evolution of ultra market and giga market, if I could marry a brand it would be this
Ichibei: then why are you here ?
Y/n: a guy with a silly mustache came along and said he could fix everything, my parents said great and left me with the pedo dude
Ichibei: then what are waiting to go home boy?
Y/n: could we use the opportunity to have me back in the human world while you do your business
Ichibei: you seem to misunderstand, your wives will die for the balance
Y/n: w-what do you mean?
Ichibei: we will finish the quincies once and for all
Y/n: say what ?
Ichibei: did Yhwach not tell you off tge quincy genocide ?
Y/n: stop assuming I listened to what a pedo nazi says
Ichibei: I came here to eliminate you and your followers
I sit down and sigh
Y/n: why is this balance so important anyway?
Ichibei: everything must have balance so that all work and the worlds stay safe, and the world keep turning
Y/n: everything must be balanced?
Ichibei : exactly
Y/n: so your bald head is to balance your big beard or your big beard is there to balance your bald ass head
...
Y/n: now I'm going to beat you up and save my wive-.... HOLD ON THEY AREN'T MY WIVES....I didn't get wedding gifts
I get up and glare
Ichibei: I am ichibei, member of squad 0, the one who named all in soul society, there is no hope for you to win against- AAAAAARGGH
Y/n: I can kick old creeps in the balls
I run back in the room and see everyone awake
Y/n: WHAT DO WE DO? THERE'S A BALD GUY TRYING TO KILL US
