Inedible

Chapter IV

I watched it go, unsure what to feel. Amusement? Excitement? None of those matched what I felt. This was yet another new emotion; guilt. A twinge in my circuit telling me to feel pity. I never programmed myself to feel such emotions so I ignored them.

When following where the Leonida went, there was another species that saw me, but it ran away before I could question it further. It was very similar to the Leonida except it had one extra arm on its torso. Its eyes faced the front instead of the sides. Its mouth was placed on its neck instead of its face. That must have been some kind of predator.

I continued to walk toward the Leonida, wanting to see it again. I wanted to talk to it, to apologize. I wanted it to stop being afraid of me.

The Leonida was spotted in front of a building. We used to have those on Antura, but they would be so consistently destroyed in the war that we no longer cared to rebuild them. That must mean this spot is either very secluded or these creatures don't destroy buildings for some… odd reason. It saw me again and its eyes widened. I quickly spoke to ease its fears. I didn’t want it to try and attack.

“Leonida, I won’t hurt you. I’m too curious to do that.”

Its body shivers and its mouth opens as it talks, “It’s- my name isn't Leonida... I-it’s Boaz.”

Interesting. Why would it tell me its name? Maybe I should return the favor.

“Alright… Boaz. My name is Ezekiel.”

It didn't seem to be phased by my kindness. I started to get annoyed about how it took my generosity for granted. There was a long silence as we studied each other's appearances. Boaz talked again in its shaky yet smooth voice.

“Does… does it hurt…?”

That was not something I expected. I hope I didn’t show my surprise physically. “What do you mean? Does what hurt? I can assure you I’m not in any pain.”

“It just… It looks painful. All the… arms and the heads… you said you were alive- if- if I was like that, It would hurt, I think.”

“Well, it doesn’t. If you think I am weakened, I am not. You do not have any upper hand on me, Boaz.”

It stepped away with surprise. What about my sentence was shocking? And why did it show its emotion so carelessly?

“Wh-what? I’m not asking for- I don’t have any ulterior motives!”

I scoffed, “I am not easily fooled.”

“I promise, I’m not trying to fool you! Why would I want to hurt you?”

Boaz must not have mastered lying yet. It’s not even a semblance of believable. I have to stop myself from bursting into laughter entirely, “I must say, I’m slightly offended that you think I’m that gullible. How old are you?”

“I- I’m 38. Do you think I’m a kid?”

“What the…” I mutter to myself with confusion. I was only a year older than it, so why was it so stupid? Maybe it could be telling the truth… No, that’s silly. I must be influenced by its non-threatening physique. I recollect myself and continue talking, “I am 39… Are you actually being honest?”

It nods desperately. I have never seen such a behavior before, “Yes, I promise. I swear, I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry if I did anything to make you think that I did, but I really, really don't!”

Silence followed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe I was falling for it. But It acted differently than your average Qekti. It was… genuine. I crawl toward it and stare into its eyes. It didn’t look into my main face but instead at my original ones. Sometimes it would look down at the one attached to my chest. I lifted my hand to Boaz’s chin to make it look at me correctly. Air from its nose hit me softly as it panicked a little more. I felt another pang in my circuit. I lowered my voice to sound less threatening, but I’m not sure if it worked.

“You are so… Kind,” I stated as softly as I could.

“W-what?”

“You are unlike anything I have ever met. Please, let me stay by your side. Just for the time being.”

It stammered for a moment. Flesh beings seem to make a lot more mistakes like this. But that wasn’t bad, not to me.

“I- um- o-okay,  you can s-stay with me…” Boaz stuttered nervously. I am aware that there is a power imbalance and that it had no choice but to say yes. I plan to take care of that in the future. For now, I will take this as a blessing.

I let go of its face and stepped away. Boaz looked at its soft feet as its body trembled. I decided to ask it the questions I was curious about.

“Why are you wearing chains around your stomach?”

It looked up, blinking quickly. I forgot that we used to do that, when we had eyelids. “It’s for protection… and- um… fashion…”

“I have all these extremities for that very reason, too, Boaz.” 

“Oh… um… okay. Where do you come from where that's… fashionable?”

“Another planet. A much darker, crueler planet than this one.”

“I assumed so… that it was cruel there,” It muttered timidly at me and turned to the doorway of the building behind it, “This is my uhm… my house. You can sleep in my sister's old room.”

“You still have a family? And gender?”

“Uh… y-yes. My sister moved out a couple of years ago so you don’t have to worry about her.”

I couldn’t help but feel suspicious at that statement, “Why did it move out? Did you do something?”

“No, no, she just… wanted to live in her own space, I guess.”

I decided not to press further. It was unnecessary information, I suppose. There was only one thing that mattered, and that was that Boaz would let me stay with it. I stepped into its home, squeezing all eleven of my arms and legs through the doorway. Boaz followed behind with just its two.

The building was just as warm and sweet as the creature who owned it. There were soft cushions scattered around the room for whatever reason. Boaz sat on one of them. Its face was apprehensive and its eyes shifted around the room.

There was a pile of berries perched on a piece of wooden furniture and giggled to myself. I remember when I had to eat constantly. Poor Boaz; forced to be preoccupied with feeding and sleeping the entire day. I pick a berry up between my metal gray hands and squish it curiously. Boaz started to talk again. It seemed to have calmed down a little, but was still on edge.

“So… Ezekiel… My friend is coming over today. A-are you okay with being seen?”

“How sweet. You have friends? Yes, It would be just fine. I am not a secret.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way…! You aren’t a secret if you don’t want to be, I’m sorry.”

“No need to repeat yourself,” I stated, chuckling a bit at its nervousness. Boaz stayed silent after that and got back to its feet to eat the berries on the stand.
But then, there was a look it gave me as it ate. The look of fear. Of protectiveness. It didn't trust me, it didn't trust the thought of feeding near me... Of course it didn't. I am different. But I plan to fix that, somehow. As soon as possible...