Tearing up The Track // Lando x Max

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Rejuvenation & Realization

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June 17th, 2023

I was tired, annoyed even. I just couldn't get this damn Dutchman out of my head.Thoughs of him plagued my conscious and unconscious mind. I mean it's reasonable to be constantly thinking of your biggest competition, right? This sport puts so much pressure on drivers to perform to the best of their abilities it's impossible not to let that stress get to sometimes. Cause that's all this is. Stress, right?

Brushing off the uncertainty of my latter thoughts I prepared myself for qualifying as my team pushed me back towards my car. Zipping back up my race suit, I release all distractions, especially of a certain driver and lock my focus in. Once my balaclava is over my chin, I know it's serious. Securing the chin strap of my helmet I slid myself into my seat.

Once my engine starts, I tune out the rest of the world listening attentively to the melody of a 1.6 litre four-stroke turbocharged 90-degree V6 double-overhead camshaft reciprocating engine. The playful purrs of tire friction on turns blending perfectly with the constant ring of wind against my head. The song of F1 pulsating throughout my entire body.

I ignore the scores, the pressure to perform fading as I absorb the extasy that racing brings. Pure bliss paired with an enthusiastic smile as I return to the paddock, I am greeted by a equally enthusiastic team congratulating me for making it to Q3 and qualifying top 10. It's not my best qualifying position but I couldn't be happier in my performance. Finding that happiness and joy in racing and rekindling that flame of passion I had been lacking since the beginning of my F1 career. It's nice to enjoy this sport again and not feel so weighed down by expectations and fear of making mistakes. My psychologist would be very proud of my self-awareness today a smile spreading at the thought.

I'm then shoved by Oscar who smiles playfully congratulating me on my successful qualifying.

"P9 for a rookie, not too shabby yourself"

"It's on tomorrow" he returns.

After a quick stint in the media pen and formalities were attended to, I find myself in the back of another chartered car escorting me back to the hotel. As we drive by classic Quebecois architecture and beautiful Canadian landscapes the colors seem to blur as a new picture slowly covers the foliage and slated roofs.

Beads of sweat glide from his scalp glistening on the greasy ends of his hickory hair. A hand effortlessly passes through and my heart flutters. The way his race suit sits leanly on all his limbs, accentuating his toned figure. He is standing on the top step of the podium once more as I watch from the crowd. Champagne is sprayed everywhere, and I lick my lips desperately, thirsty for every drop coming from his bottle. My thought tightens as if I haven't had water for weeks. I watch him acutely shake hands with the others on the podium with his strong, callous hands jealously find its place as I wish the hands, he shook were mine. I can't help but smile as his frown subsides finnaly letting him enjoy the victory. A smile so rare I relish the honor of witnessing the rare sighting.

"Mr. Norris"

"Huh?" I realise as the driver is standing in front of me signally that the drive is over.

I redden with embarrassment being caught wrapped up in my thoughts, God, I hope it wasn't obvious I was thinking about him again.

Why him again?

Shaking my head to reset my rogue thoughts I start making my way up to my room. Checking my messages as a distraction, I see drivers already planning which clubs will be the designated after-party for tomorrow. Feeling too tired to respond I ignore them and finnaly open my room door. Frazzled and confused Ican either continue to set aside these rogue thoughts or I can acknowledge them. Knowing damn well if I don't admit to his constant grip on me I wouldn't get a second of shut eye, I decide to reach out. Choosing to prioritzie the possibility of sleep I draft a message to my psychologist.

"Hey, Dr. Smith"

No that sounds stupid.

"Sooooo, I've been having some weird thoughts."

Oh my gosh she's not my friend I have to keep it professional Uehgrhhgrh

"Can we schedule a call soon?" I hit send

Relieved I made the first step to returning to a clear headspace I make a reminder to call my mom before the race tomorrow. She always knows how to calm my nerves even if she's not there. I used to mock her for wanting to hear my voice before every race no matter the time zone still, it's now become a part of my routine and I would never admit it to her I can't deny that it really helps knowing there will always be one person on my team. God if she knew she would never let me hear the end of it.

At last, I made my way into the king bed feeling much smaller than it did this morning. I wrapped myself tightly in a cocoon of blankets. The warmth cuddling me into a deep, restful sleep I very much needed.