"I saw my crush Tuesday by the way."

Like a lonely summer afternoon

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"I've known him since my first year of high school."

As someone who desperately wanted to experience a school love, I was intrigued to know more about it.

"Before I met you..."

It was silly to admit that people had somehow a different life outside of what one could imagine. But enough of this; jumping into the story from what could have been her perspective may be interesting.

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Last Tuesday, I saw him. Amidst a sea of people, I could see him.

Maybe he always shone in my eyes, or perhaps I only knew a few people, and so my attention got caught by the one I had eyes on for a while.

So strange, I thought, observing him from a distance while the boy was standing there and facing an important day in his life.

Graduation ceremony.

I got invited by my friends to attend it. The thought of him didn't even cross my mind that Tuesday. I had long ago forgotten him and buried those memories in my preconscious.

I had arrived very early, for I understood perfectly the importance of the event. As a former senior, it brought me great joy to watch others finally graduate, and my friends no less. Students, or former students like me, came rushing like a storm of bees from the entrance that I passed this morning.

July, in the middle of summer, the heat was killing me, but the genuine delight muffled this feeling. It was almost nostalgic to be there again.

Between my actions of reminiscence, I saw a familiar face.

It was him!

I stiffened. My pupils widened for a second, perhaps. My heart beats like crazy, and my hands sweat from the rush of feelings that I forgot to decipher. My brain pleaded to look away since I could get caught staring, may I remind you that staring is a rude action! But my heart implored my eyes to throw a bunch more gazes toward my puppy crush.

He wasn't alone. Neither was I.

Surrounded by his peers, I deduced that they may be his friends.

A few minutes felt like seconds. Time has never felt so short when one is examining their object of desire or a person in this case.

We don't talk anymore.

Not in that sense. It's just that I haven't talked to him in three years. Maybe even more?

It was a stupid crush, you know! Nothing more, nothing less. I was 12, a young and silly girl. We all had a crush at some point.

But do you know about the one crush that never truly goes away?

When you make a great effort to forget about him or her, when you try to find new people, hoping to replace that hollow in your heart. Why? Because he or she never reciprocated your feelings; it was all in your head, you were faking scenarios and daydreaming. For god's sake, I was daydreaming! All this time!

It happened that I finally forgot about him. Or so I thought.

All it took was someone mentioning his name to take me back in time. Then he would stay in my mind for a couple of days.

Will I continue to be this miserable? I sincerely hope not. Being a simp is hard.

Anyway, it's probably because he was my first crush. And I like to lie to myself about how he may or may not have a mutual affection for me.