Après (sequel to Arranged marriage with Adnan)

Chapter 7

"Hey, Adnan! Come on!"
"Ok, I'm coming!"

It's been a few weeks, since the good news came about me being pregnant. Over these weeks, I've adapted to the idea of Adnan and I having a child and being parents. I think about it all the time and love that we're starting our own family. My parents, as well as Adnan's, have become alright with the whole situation. Now, we're getting ready for my first appointment to make sure everything is well.

"Are you nervous, excited?"
"Mostly excited."
"Me too, that's good."
"I like your hat," Adnan had just bought a new black snapback.
"Oh, thanks," he smiled.

We pulled into the parking lot and got ready to see the doctor. We sat down and introduced ourselves and everything. I was only a few weeks pregnant, but it already seemed so long. I couldn't wait to see my son or daughter.

"Ok, Scarlett, we'll just check that your baby is healthy and that everything is fine."
"Alright," I smiled.

The doctor was silent and didn't speak for a few minutes. Their facial expression changed too. I was starting to get worried, but that was probably just me overthinking. I looked over to Adnan and he gave me a reassuring smile, which made me give a smile in return.

After a couple more minutes, I asked, "Is everything ok? What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, but you have a miscarriage."

My heart stopped. My breathing hitched. My world stopped spinning.

We were not going to be parents anymore.

"Are- are you ok?" Adnan kneeled down to reach my height sitting in the chair.
"Yeah..."
"I'm sorry," the doctor repeated, "it's best to try again in a couple months."
"Ok, what do you want to do?"
"I want to go home. Take me home, Adnan."

I tried my best to stay calm inside the doctors office. Adnan had a few words before taking me out and to the car. I was good to hold it together for that long, but I broke down in the car.

"Adnan," I sobbed.

He cradled my head in his hands, while I buried my head into his chest.

"I- I'm sorry, Adnan, this is all my fault... I killed your child."
"Stop that! It was out of your control!"

I kept crying and thinking that I was responsible for allof this.

"Look at me. Look at me!" He said.

I looked up and for the first time in a long time, I saw him crying. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. I shook uncontrollably, looking at him like this.

"I'm sorry, Adnan."
"Stop."
"I just f- feel like this is all my fault!"
"It isn't. Take as much time as you need and like the doctor said, we can try again."
"I know, but I wanted this so bad," I sobbed.
"Don't worry, we'll become parents one day. Maybe our parents were right, maybe we're just not ready for a step like this. We only just got married."

I held onto him tight, while he rubbed my back. 

"I don't know, Adnan... I was so excited and happy and now this. I think I just need some alone time."

For the first time in a long time, I pulled away from Adnan. He was surprised, but then let go. I stared out the window for the rest of he silent drive back home.