𝑂𝑘𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑡

38

𝖳𝗐𝗈 𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋

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JISUNG

This story includes, sex, mature language, self harm, homophobia, non-Consensual acts etc.

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Today was a bit different. I had a hard time opening up about my childhood, but Mrs. Yoon made it easy for me to tell her bits of my life. "It seems like you have a hard time talking about your father, am I right?" I nodded my head, my face in my palms, I knew talking about him would unleash unwanted memories.

"Alright, remember this is a safe space, and if there is anything I can do to make you feel comfortable... Mr. Han these conversations are quite intricate, I understand if you are struggling to speak up. This is confidential to me and you, I won't judge. I will care, you will feel better opening up about it"

She spoke softly, I often felt like a child complaining to his teacher when talking to her. "Well, my eomma died when I was sixteen, I mean one second she was telling me she loved me and the next she was no longer here with me. She died in childbirth when she gave birth to my baby brother.

I was devastated by the news, but my appa took it the worst he went into depression and started to drink to forget, and he got really abusive... a-abusing not only me but-" I could practically feel my tears burning into my skin, it burnt my eyes.

"But... my baby brother he wasn't even a year old and he was going through things no child should ever go through. I knew if I called the police they would take Jinyoung away from me and I just couldn't take that so I waited till I was eighteen to finally tell somebody so they couldn't take him away.

I gained full custody of him and three years later my appa was released from jail still doing the same things he did before, I had to put headphones on Jinyoung and barricade the door so he couldn't get in, I don't know what happened after we escaped. I ended up crashing a few nights and my then boyfriend's house.

I-I don't want him getting out... I don't want him hurting Jinyoung or me but I'd rather him hurt me before he even touches my brother." Mrs. Yoon wrote everything down in her notebook she stayed quiet during my whole little rant, she was like a mother figure in my eyes.

I was happy I listened to Hyunjin Mrs. Yoon always made sure the setting was comfortable for her client. I was holding onto a big bunny plush as tears streamed down my cheeks. I hadn't cried like this in a while I was so used to pushing my emotions and trauma onto a small box in the farthest parts of my brain.

I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart over and over again till I was a shell of my old self. "Is there anything else you are forgetting?" I really didn't want to re-enter that part of my life the part that made me feel like I was nothing, the part that made me fear for my life.

I pushed it so far back that I forgot about it, "My... My Appa took pictures of me-" I could feel the lump on my throat getting bigger, I felt like my throat was closing up and I was running out of oxygen. "Take your time Mr. Han, don't rush yourself into things you're not ready to talk about."

I knew she was right but if I didn't talk about it it would haunt me for eternity. "No- I wanna continue," she nodded her head, picking her pencil back up to continue to write in her notes. "He took, he took pictures of me w-when I was sleeping and; he w-would send it to older guys, n-nothing too serious but enough to make me not trust him and devote really bad nightmares."

I managed to get that all out with only a few hiccups. I was in a way really proud of myself this was my first time opening up about the pictures and I was pretty damn proud. "Sure that had a hold on you? I am so sorry that you went through that Mr. Han, I am really glad that you felt comfortable telling me this, you've improved a lot since your first session."

I hugged the plush tighter and smiled at her. "You have made it really easy too, I am extremely grateful for you, Mrs. Yoon." She smiled back, his smile all warm and fuzzy. "It's my pleasure, really if you ever feel like hurting yourself in any way use the rubber band as a tool and write everything you feel into your journal, today's session was quite short but I'm sure you have better things to do anyway."

I nodded my head, she held her arms out and I joined her in her ear embrace. "Thank you again, Mrs. Yoon." I broke for the hug and left the room. One less thing to worry over.
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It's been a while since I last saw Jinyoung and I wanted to surprise him. I was happy that my aunt took him in for me, as it made college a lot easier. I didn't have to spend as much money on him as I did in previous years.

It was an hour and thirty minute flight to Melbourne so I decided to leave an hour after my therapy lesson. I was going to stay for almost two weeks, but I missed Jinyoung too much to just stay a few days.

Once I landed I called my aunt to tell her I should be there in thirty minutes. The car ride the was nerve racking, I video called anytime I could be it had been too long since I saw him. When I arrived at my aunt's house I knocked on the door, tic tic tic.

The door swung open and I hugged my aunt. "Where is he?" she pointed to the dining area and I tipped toed over to him. "Boo!" I yelled, he jumped the turned to see who scared him. "H-Hyungie?" I graciously picked him up and hugged him tightly. "Jin, look you've gotten so big!"  He cried as he hugged me back.

"Why are you here?" "I wanted to visit my brother, did you miss hyung?" Jinyoung nodded his head. "How long are you staying?" I placed him back down and watched him over to the living room. "Umm around two weeks, how are you doing in school?" Jinyoung got silent then looked back at me. "Good, I got best 'student award'!"

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I haven't wrote a POV for Jisung so I decided today would be a good day. Thank you guys soooo soo so much for 20.5k views and 865 votes u guys don't know how much it means to me, anyway how do you guys feel about these back to back updates? Idk what happened over 2 months but I changed a lot 😅 I love you all from the bottom of my heart!!!-🐀