Palagi (The Art of Loving You) x JHOLET AU

Chapter 4: Behind the Mask

Jhoanna's POV

I couldn’t find sleep. The tension from earlier still lingered, making it hard for me to settle down. I decided a glass of water might help clear my mind. Dahil sinisipag naman ako, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen.

Habang papalapit ako sa kusina, faint sobs reached my ears from the living room. My heart quickened, and a knot tightened in my chest as I approached, peering around the corner.

I was shocked ng makita ko kung sino ito, it was Colet. Nakaupo ito sa sofa at may hawak na picture frame. I also noticed that there's a nearly empty glass of whiskey in her hand, her face streaked with tears and her eyes red and swollen.

I was taken aback. Colet, who always seemed so composed and unapproachable, was unraveling before my eyes. A surge of empathy and a deep urge to comfort her welled up inside me, but I hesitated. I didn’t want to intrude on such a private moment of vulnerability.

"Cailey," she whispered, her voice trembling with raw emotion. "I miss you so much. Ate misses you so much, alam mo ba yun..."

As she spoke, a single tear traced a path down Colet’s cheek, glistening in the moonlight. Her shoulders shook slightly with each quiet sob, and the tear fell slowly, as if reluctant to let go of the pain it carried.

Her words were a painful confession, her sorrow laid bare.

Bigla naman ito tumayo at ibinalik ang picture ng kapatid nya sa ibabaw ng table, I noticed that her hands are shaking. Unsteady on her feet, clearly drunk, she walked towards the swimming pool. My heart ached for her as I followed. Nag-alala ako sa pwede nitong gawin.

Nang makita ko sya, nakatayo na ito sa edge ng pool, her gaze fixed on the water, lost in thought. I held my breath, anxiety coiling in my stomach. She bent down, tears mingling with the reflections on the water.

“If it weren’t for me, you would still be here, and Jho” she said, her voice cracking with unbearable bitterness and pain. “You would still be here with us, with Mama and Papa. It was all my fault... I wish it had been me who was lost. I wish it had been me, Cailey."

Her words pierced through me. I felt as if her pain was wrapping around my own heart, squeezing tightly. It became painfully clear that the loss she was mourning was not just the tragic accident of her sister but also of someone named “Jho”—someone who was significant to her and who had also suffered because of it.

I stood there, hidden, feeling the gravity of her sadness like a physical weight. It was as if her sorrow had reached out and touched me, making me feel the depths of her despair. I decided to give her space.

As I started to step away, I hear her voice again, soft but choked with emotion. “Jho…”

I stopped, my heart racing. I turned back, but her position hadn’t changed. She seemed to be talking to the night, to a memory. The mention of “Jho” filled me with questions, but more than that, it revealed the depth of her trauma.

“If I had listened to you and Cailey that night, maybe both of you would still be here. You wouldn’t have been lost,” she continued, her voice cracking with regret.

Malinaw na sa akin ngayon ang lahat—her grief was not just about losing her sister, but also about a profound guilt related to someone named “Jho.” My name, Jhoanna or Jho, seemed to remind her those painful memories for her and her sister, as if my presence was a painful reminder of her past.

I'm still watching her ng bigla itong tumayo at humakbang, I hid quickly, deciding it was best to give her the space she needed. And alam kong hindi nito magugustuhan na makita syang ganyan ng ibang tao.