Polaroids

14|Luna

I slam the heavy door behind me as I enter the empty hallway. I look down both ends and see nobody, not even a speck of dust floating down the hallway.

I don't know why I'm so upset.

I don't let people bother me, I don't get upset and I don't take things to heart because I try my hardest not to have one. But everything has been flipped upside down since I've been with Julian. I all of a sudden can afford my rent thoughtlessly, I spend my time traveling different states and doing what I love, I have sex every night without fail, and I can feel my heartbeat.

From the age of thirteen, I stopped feeling my own heartbeat. I thought I was dead and I never understood how I could walk around without one. I never told anybody I felt this way and I tried not to think about it too much. But as soon as my heartbeat disappeared, so did a large piece of me. A piece that I feel shouldn't have been gone.

The racing of my heart that I feel has only been what I think is a result of adrenaline, but not because I really have a mass of muscle in my chest.

"Fuck." I let my head down, a headache slowly forming in the front of my forehead.

"Miss. Marlow?"

My head shoots up toward the sound of the voice and heavy footsteps. "Are you okay?"

I see Joseph, Julian's head bodyguard, and let out a shallow breath as he heads toward me with his hands folded on his front in a protective stance.

"I'm okay. Julian is just a dickhead." I shake my head slightly, a pout forming as I remember the previous moment. "What are you doing up here?" I look back up at the tall man with surprisingly sweet eyes as he towers over me.

Joseph, or JJ, is very heavily built and stands at a shocking 6'6". He's the tallest of the crew, Anderson being second at 6'4" then Julian and Amiah both being 6'3". JJ is what you would think of when you imagine a bodyguard, tall, built, stoic, and a thick, short, beard and a low-cut hairstyle. The only out-of-place thing is his unimaginably sweet eyes.

"I came to check on Mr. Rhodes. He left reversal in a hurry but I am required to sweep the building and make my rounds before heading up here for watch."

I nod, my mind taking a little longer to filter his professional tone. "Well. He's in there so you can do your job. Maybe teach him to be nice or a little less of an ass."

For a second, his professionalism cracks and a smile slices through before his stoic look is molded right back on top. "I can try, Miss. Marlow."

"Just call me Luna, Joseph."

He nods, his eyes shutting momentarily before he looks back at me. "And you can call me JJ, or Joey, if you prefer."

"Who calls you Joey?" I question.

Red flushes his cheeks and an unenviable smile gathers across his lips. "My mother and Amiah."

I smile with him, his embarrassment easing my irritation. "That name sounds pretty special. I'll leave it to them, then."

He nods before carefully stepping around me and entering the room.

Once again I am alone but I do not plan on it being that way for long. Maybe Harvey will be willing to get a drink with me.

I walk toward the elevator, my arms wrapped around my waist as the draft hits me. I feel so weird. I feel out of place and oddly self-conscious. Not about how I look or anything but about who I am. And I don't even know what that means.

The elevator opens and I hit the button to go down to the floor where all of the dancers and stage crew are staying. This elevator is fancier in some of the hotels I've been in and has slightly warm lighting that makes the air feel just as warm.