The adventures of Cuddlez.

1st cookie.

|After many hours spent in the mental hospital for awesome people, me and my friend iluminati90 decided to make the awesomest story to ever exist. (And we failed). If you are bored enough to read dis (just like we were) , then go ahead. Enjoy~|

Once upon a time, a cute little happy creature named Cuddlez lived in the darkest flaming caves of Hell. He was a really fun creature to be around, and wanted to be friends with everyone. So he could sacrifice them to Satan.
One day, our happy go lucky Cuddlez had an argument with his coffe table. The table was stoopid and Cuddlez decided he had enough of it, so he left his house being angry cuz of the dumb table. He found himself thirsty, when he realized he ran so far he got into the Desert. He panicked and screamed. He went insane, and soon chopped his arm off. Luckly, he saw a cactus riding a camel not so far from him. He aproached them, killed the cactus and stole its camel. But wait! The camel wasn't actually a camel! It was an alien disguised as a camel...No...It was an assassin disguised as an alien disguied as a camel! Wrong. On a closer look, it was the one and only Barack Obama disguised as an assassin disguised as an alien disguised as a camel. Confused, Cuddlez managed to kill the cameloalienassasiobama and took its head declaring it a self-given award for his courage and coolness.
Many years passed since that day, but no one seemed to notice the president's disappearence. Nobody except Obama's loyal assasin, who wanted to avenge his master's death. Cuddlez found that out because he was awesome and had telephatic superpowers, and decided to kill the asassin because he wanted to. And so, the 400th intergalactic war started. He managed to get Dimitri Rascalov on his side, a well-known badass in the hood, as well as an army of geneticly modified camels. And so, our unipotato found himself fighting against a well trained army of magic pandicorns.
Is our hero going to win the 400th intergalactic war? Or is he going to die serving his galaxy? Find out, in the next chapter of The *crappy* adventures of Cuddlez.