In The Off Chance (A Jaria Story)

Chapter 3 - The Funeral

Aria's Point of View -

At Ian's funeral:

This funeral was going to be tough. Even tougher with the new thought in my mind that A actually murdered Ian. Emily found this out when the suicide note contained like, five of those A texts. That was even scarier. But when I saw Ezra walking towards me in the church, I thought this thing could at least be a bit bearable.

That was until my mom butted in.

"Ezra, I didn't know you were coming to this." My mom smiled and walked towards him. My dad followed close behind.

Ezra just looked at them, frazzled. "Uh... I, uh, didn't plan on it. But after speaking with Aria, I realized how important it is to... um...-" I stared at him and he looked back. I nodded. All he needed to do was finish off with "to show my support for my friend" or "girlfriend" or even "acquaintance". Anything.

"- show my support for all the students by coming," I stared in utter shock. "Not only for Spencer, but for all the students affected by the tragedies of this past year," I blinked repeatedly and shook my head. Did he seriously just say that? I couldn't believe it. All I told him was to introduce me as his friend and he couldn't even do that. That's the type of thing to make me think he is... embarrassed to date me.

"I'm sure the kids really appreciate it. Come on, sit with us," My dad offered, nodding at Ezra. My parents and boyfriend sat down in the pew and Ezra shot me a quick glance. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him. The service was about to start. I should focus on this.

****

My stomach was twisted into impossible-to-untie knots as I gazed down at the casket holding Ian Thomas. I had to hold back a few tears. He tried to kill Spencer, he spied on Ali like a total creep - so why did I feel sad?

Because he was dead. Because he was murdered and because I saw his cold, lifeless body with my own eyes. The image still flashed in my mind. Hanna, Spencer, Emily, and I kneeled down and each grabbed a handful of dirt. I tossed it into the ground first, covering a small section of the casket. Emily followed after that, then Hanna, then Spencer. After we had all tossed the dirt, I looked up and, through the sea of people, saw a familiar blonde. Jason was sitting alone on a bench. He was so far away from the actual service. What was he doing? I stared curiously for a few more moments. I planned on talking to him once the funeral was over.

****

I continued to gaze at Jason, confused and working up the nerve to go up to him when Emily walked up behind me. "You waiting for Fitz?" she asked, coming up to stand next to me.

"Uh, just waiting for my parents," I answered.

Emily's eyes looked towards where I was staring and she saw Jason. "Who's he waiting for?"

"I don't know. Maybe he came here for the same reason we did."

"To spit on Ian's grave?"

I looked at her and rolled my eyes. "To get closure."

"Well," Em began. "I still think he's creepy. Even if he wasn't hiding Ian that guy's a freak and he always has been!" I looked at her and open my mouth slightly to say something.

"I'm gonna go," she said before I had the chance to speak. Tell your parents I say goodbye,"

"Okay, bye," I mumbled politely. I turned my head to see if she was gone and, when I saw that she was, I began to walk towards Jason.

"Aria," said a voice from behind me. I turned. "Can I talk to you?" Ugh. Ezra.

"Yeah, should I round up the rest of the student body so you can just address us as a group?" I snapped, still walking towards Jason. Ezra fell in pace with my steps and walked alongside me.

"Look, I really did come here to see you to take the next step but... it just wasn't right."

I stopped and glanced at him. "Well, do you know when the exact place and time is? Because we keep talking about slowly moving forward and dipping our toes in the pool -"

"Aria, telling your parents is not toe-dipping, it's a cannonball."

"I know," I muttered. Ezra sighed. "Oh, this would be so much easier if I could just blame it all on you," I admitted.

He chuckled and stared down. "Thanks,"

I stopped and turned my body towards him. "You know what I mean. I know that this isn't anybody's fault. That doesn't change the fact that I ... I really needed a hug from you today. Not later at your apartment or tomorrow at Hollis. But here, right now," I prayed he would just wrap his arms around me and allow me to get lost for a moment. He took a small step forward but then paused. His eyes tried to search for my parents. I sighed. Of course, my mom and dad were right there. And of course, Ezra wouldn't take the leap.

He started to walk away from me. "I'll - I'll call you later." I nodded slowly. Exactly my point. Later. Did he not care enough about me? I asked for a small hug, not a full on make out session right here right now.

I turned and Jason was still just sitting there. Finally, I swallowed my heart which had swelled in my throat and began taking small steps towards him. He seemed so ... distant, lost. He was just staring.

"Hey," I greeted.

He looked up. "Hey,"

I swung my hands a bit. "Thanks again for helping my brother out," He nodded a bit and continued to stare down. I had to keep this conversation going. "Why... Why are you so willing to give my brother a free pass?"

Jason raised his head but didn't look me in the eye. "I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe it's because Ali used to threaten to turn me in all the time," He looked at me now, his dazzling eyes seeming even more beautiful than usual. I swallowed and adjusted my dress before sitting down on the bench next to him.

"Did she ever?" I asked once we were sat next to one another.

Jason looked at me with a side glance. "Ali was too smart for that. Even as a kid. She was fearless. She needed to be," He pursed lips together, his eyes gazing at the blue afternoon sky. As his deep voice spoke, images of my old best friend flashed in my head. She was brave. The bravest person I knew. I suppose that's one thing that made her so dangerous. "I was always jealous of that. Of her. I guess that's why my parents can't even look at me anymore. They know they lost the wrong kid."

My heart ached for this boy next to me. He was so sad and seemed so lost. I wanted to put my arms around him and hug him tightly. I wanted to listen to him pour his heart out to me, about his sister, about himself, about anything. "Don't say that," I said softly. Why was I getting so ... gooey? Was it because of the funeral? Or the sudden talk of Ali?

I heard Jason sniffle and saw tears in his eyes. My chest tightened up. "Look, maybe you coming here today was a mistake."

"Just the opposite, actually. You don't know how good it feels to know it wasn't me. I don't remember a thing from the night Ali died. I blacked out and woke up the next morning with a wicked hangover and.... and this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. On it, in green marker it read: "I know what you did." My throat swelled up.

"Who gave you this?" I asked urgently. "Wh - What does this mean?"

"I don't know but... it almost destroyed me."

I raised my eyebrows and my eyes widened. "You thought that you killed her?"

"Like I said, I was jealous. And when I got loaded, I got angry. But... Ian's confession has changed everything. He did it, not me." I just continued to stare at him. But Ian didn't do it. And right now, I wanted to strangle A now more than ever for giving Jason false hope. Of course Jason could never kill Ali but ... my mind swarmed with his answers and swarmed with even more questions.