everywhere, everything | charles leclerc

loml

CHAPTER 9 !

"loml"

July 3rd 2024, Great Britain

what am i doing?

this is a question eliza asked herself as she wrote in her journal, trying to write a new song for her up coming album. she started to digg into the depths if her mind, trying to find some emotion to put into a song. when her mind drifted to her ex, matt.

she had love for him, and sure she would do it all over again if she had to. but she kept her distance, and our good reasons to.

even though he cheated, humiliated and belittled her the entire relationship

matt really knew how to break her, shit talking her her when all she ever did was speak good about him, making her take accountability for his actions and apologized even when she wasn't in the wrong

she lost her herself trying to find him.

for three while years she endured the hate his fans gave her, from being called a slut to them sending her death threats which didn't go unnoticed by him, he just didn't care enough to do anything.

she gave him her everything and he gave her nothing in return. she would reassure him, helped him grow and change for the better, and if she wanted that from him, she got the same response every time

"i didn't ask you to do all that" he would say, looking at her with no emotion in his eyes. sure, she knew the relationship was dieing, but she couldn't bring herself to actually acknowledge the fact it was died

he would always make her feel like she wasn't bringing enough to the table, like she wasn't worthy of his love. he put her in a cage and practically made her his doll that he could play with whenever he got bored.

what she didn't know, what that for the entire 3 years they had been together, he had cheated on her with his pr manager, high school girlfriend and many other women she didn't bother to remember.
and as much as she pushed the bad bitch narrative, her wounds haven't completely healed yet

the relationship started as any other, with sweet moments between the two, stolen glances when in the company of others, and just over all rainbows and butterfly

you said i'm the love of your life
about a million times

they were completely in love with one another, promising each other they would never do anything to hurt the other.

who's gonna tell me the truth

eliza completely ignored any red flags from matt, she wasn't going to leave him because he had some faults, because to her, that's what make him, him.

you blew in with the winds of fate

eliza was completely off her feet unloved with matt. not a day would go by where she didn't think about him and what he was currently doing, unknown to her he was fucking other girls.

when your impressionist paintings of Heaven
turned out to be fakes

and when they hit the 6 month mark, everything changed.

matt had become nothing but shell of the person he was, but only around her. even everyone else was around, he would be laughing and cracking joke with them but the minute they got home, it would be completely silence between the two.

eliza tried helped him, asking what's wrong, giving him space, reassuring him. and as the relationship progressed, matts true colors started showing.

he not only became controlling, but he would belittle her and leave snide comments in her body and looks. he would compare her to other woman and told her she should be 'lucky' to be with him

and all at once, the ink bleeds
a con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme

over the course of they relationship, he had became more and more controlling, manipulative and just over all a completely different person

you shit talked me under the table
talking rings and talking cradles

and while she was trying to figure him out, he was shit talking her, dragging her name through the mud, and she overlooked all of it because she loved him.

maybe she still did.

what we thought was for all time
was momentary

and what hurt her was the fact that they almost had it all. they could have been so much more if only he had communicated and opened up to her.

all she wanted to do was drown the memory of him and have it in a vault inside her mind

eliza wanted it to stay buried

she didn't want the media associating the two, she didn't want to be asked about him, she didn't want to feel the anger she should feel about how all of itbwent down in the end

for fucks sake,they had a house together
but all she wanted to do was leave him inside that house and burn it.

but before she could continue to rant on in her head, her thoughts were intrupted by vanessa.

"you good eliza?" asked vanessa as she noticed eliza had disassociated. "hm?" asked eliza as she came back to reality.

"are you okay?"asked vanessa again, putting her book on the bed.
"yeah just thinking"she said giving the girl a small smile.

"wanna talk about it?" asked vanessa as she scooted closer to eliza.
"it's just, how the fuck was i so wrong about matt. he was so sweet and caring, you wouldn't think he was capable of doing the things he did." said eliza as she closed her journal.

"it's okay eliza, we all make bad decisions sometimes, he was just a wolf in sheep's clothing. and looks at were that relationship brought you. you've done so many amazing thing, even after he broke you heart. " said vanessa, trying to reassure the girl.

"i know, but it's just so hard to accept the face he's not a factor in my life anymore and there is absolutely nothing i can do about it." said eliza as she hugged her blanket closer to her face.

"eliza, pennelope and i are always going to be here for you. you're strong and capable, and you can get through this. we know you can, but it's time to go to sleep." said vanessa, penelope being long gone as she was already asleep

"good night vanessa" said eliza and she slowly drifted to sleep

"good night eliza, see you tomorrow"

🌷

how are you feeling ab tdys race?
idk how to feel but i'm happy oscar won his firt f1 race ( he was soo chill about it😭) the complete opposite of lando

plus wtf is up with ferrari like we need to lock in😔

anyway hope you enjoyed the chappp