Science or Shadows

Chapter 10

I looked up at Haden, puzzled by the bottle of water in his hand. Without a word, he held it out to me, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Baka uhaw ka," he mumbled, his cheeks turning a faint pink.

"Thanks," I replied, accepting the bottle and taking a sip.

He settled into the chair next to me, and I drank the water slowly, savoring its coolness.

I glanced around, expecting to see Livia, but she was nowhere in sight. Could it be her father instead?

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I massaged my temples. Why was this scene replaying in my mind?

I tried to drift off to sleep, but rest eluded me. Tossing and turning, I clutched my pillow tightly, seeking comfort in its softness.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to sleep, feeling utterly drained mentally.

Yet, as I twisted in bed once more, my eyes snapped open. Sleep remained out of reach.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, my throat feeling parched.

Slipping out of bed, I reach for my slippers and pad silently out of the room until I reached the refrigerator.

The sound of my gulping echoed through the quiet room as I drank from the water bottle, the silence broken only by the faint tick of the clock. It felt like the dead of night, perhaps around 3 am.

After finishing the water, I shut the refrigerator door and headed back to my room, my footsteps barely making a sound on the floor. My mind filled with thoughts of sleep.

But my steps faltered as a loud voice from my parents' room reached my ears. It stopped me in my tracks.

"Do you honestly think Hylen would harm Thomas?" Mom's voice, laced with concern, cut through the night.

My heart plummeted. Was I hearing this correctly?

I hesitated, torn between wanting to know and dreading the answer.

"I don't think she's capable of that," Mom's voice held conviction.

Could it be true? Was that really my mom, defending me? Protecting me from Dad's suspicions?

"Why was she at the school campus late at night then?" Dad's voice, edged with suspicion, pierced the air.

I wanted to tell them about Haden, about the events of that night, but fear held me back.

What if they rejected me, called me foolish and worthless? What if their disappointment turned to anger?

I feared their judgment, their anger, their rejection. The thought of their disappointment made my stomach churn.

"This is all your fault! If only you were a better mother, Hylen would be different," Dad's accusations pierced the air.

Mom's voice rose in defense, "Don't blame me. Hylen's innocence has been proven!"

"Because I did my duty as a father!" Dad's voice boomed.

The argument escalated, the words cutting through me like knives. I covered my ears, overwhelmed with pain and confusion. Gasping for air, I mustered my courage and fled to the safety of my room.

I leaped onto my bed, the springs creaking in protest. Grabbing my pillow, I pulled it close, seeking solace in its familiar softness.

Their sharp words echoed in my mind like a haunting melody, refusing to fade. Like a never-ending refrain.

"If only you were a better mother, Hylen would be different."

The phrase reverberated through my thoughts, a heavy weight settling in the pit of my stomach. The weight of their expectations bore down on me, suffocating me with doubt and exhaustion.

I squeezed the pillow against my ears, attempting to drown out the relentless repetition of "Hylen would be different."

"Hylen would be different."
"Hylen would be different."
"Hylen would be different."

Each syllable cut deeper, a reminder of my perceived failures and shortcomings.

Fatigue seeped into my bones, my eyelids heavy with weariness.

A dangerous thought tiptoed into my mind, a chilling whisper: should I end it all?

The notion, once unthinkable, now whispered seductively in the shadows of my mind. It promised an escape from the pain, a respite from the relentless ache within.

But amidst the darkness, a faint glimmer of resistance flickered to life. A small voice, barely audible, urged me to hold on.

"No. There must be another way."

I clung to that fragile thread of hope, pushing back against the suffocating despair. Each breath became a battle, each moment a struggle to resist the pull of resignation.

I fought against the urge to surrender, to succumb to the darkness closing in around me.

I needed to find a way to endure, to persevere, to survive.

But how?

The question hung in the air, unanswered, as I grappled with the turmoil raging within me.

Inhaling deeply, I steadied my racing heart and calmed the storm of emotions within me.

The question still lingered, unanswered but not forgotten: how could I continue to endure this pain and find a way forward?