adopted by the sturniolos [ON HOLD]

19- [no title]

Someone said I should do a story where it is actually alot like me so I'm sorry if it's sad and boring

The past few days for me have been tiring, if I'm not mistaken my brother's just filmed a video yesterday and nicks editing to get it out for today since it's Friday, I was asleep but apparently Chris got bugspray in his eye, maybe I should go check on him..

Recently I've been kinda isolating myself, the three keep offering me food and stuff but I say no, I've been doing everything at night when there asleep. I eat, shower, do anything I need to while there asleep before going to bed when the sun rises and I'm not up until just around dinner time, which is 6 or 7 o-clock for us since our dinners are a bit more late during summer.

I've just woken up, I'm sitting in my bed, sunlight fighting its way into the room through my blinds, hitting the wall and my face. I rub my eyes, choosing to finally get up and go out to see everybody or nobody, who knows, it's a surprise.

I open my door, walking out then closing it, walking by Nick's room on my way downstairs to the kitchen, not seeing anybody. I open the blinds so some natural light can get in, heading to the kitchen for water because I don't wake up and drink I pepsi like Chris and the other two has been doing for the past who knows how long. I sit down at the table, alone, rubbing my eyes. I was the only child in my old family, and it was kinda boring, but most of the time they kept me on my toes with tour and everything, but now it's so much more lonely. No one tried to encourage me to do something, they just check on me then leave me alone, it doesn't make me feel cared for. I sigh, putting my head in my head, closing my eyes, just wanting to escape and sleep again, but I can't knowing it's going to fall into a deeper habit than it already is. I hear someone come up the stairs, and it's Chris, he has some pajama bottoms on from somewhere and no top, im wearing a bra and some plad pajama bottoms, I haven't changed besides my bra and underwear, I've been wearing the same pants and shirt for the past 1 or 2 ,weeks. Chris grabs a can of pepsi and opens it before pulling a chair out beside me, taking a sip of pepsi as he sits down. "Haven't seen you out in a while, is there something going on?" He asks, looking at me, confused on why my head is in my hands. "Alot on my mind.." I say quietly, surprised Chris actually asked if I was okay. I love nick, Matt, and Chris, but I feel like they hate me, I dunno why, it just feels that way. "Well y'know I'm always open to chat, you can always come to me, Nick, or Matt" He says, putting a hand on my back. "Thank you.." I say quietly, knowing that if I were to try and talk to them I would just start bawling and I won't be able to get anything out. That's the problem, I bottle up my emotions and when I try to discuss how I feel emotionally I just can't get it out. I feel so alone in my head. "No problem, auds, you can always talk to us, not even that, if you just need a hug, don't be afraid to come up to us, we're family." He says, giving my back a gentle pat before grabbing his pepsi and going back downstairs to his room. I lift my head from my hands, watching him go downstairs, and I sigh, putting my face in my hands again, tears forming in my eyes.

I'm crying just because he left me? Fuck, I'm such a stupid loser, I cling onto everyone and when they leave its like my world stops rotating. I toss my glass in the sink, heading upstairs to my room, closing the door and laying down on my floor, just staring at the ceiling. As much as I hate to say it, maybe just a simple cuddle from someone and a kiss in the forehead I trust will make it feel all better, it's difficult to ask for a cuddle though, especially from your brothers..

I lay there, until Nick opens the door, just looking at me and sighing, closing my door softly, probably going to discuss what the three should do to get me to stop isolating myself.

Matt enters my room quietly and sits down beside me laying on the floor, looking down at me, a look on his face that I cannot read. Matt is the one ive seen the least, hes probably dealing with his own issues too. I have issues reading people's faces and trying to understand what to do in situations if people are anxious or sad or angry, I have issues with emotions, there confusing, yet I am a very emotional person.

He stares at me for sometime, and I sigh, sitting up and pulling my knees to my chest, burying my head in my knees. "I know this isn't you.. what's wrong? I never wanted you to get this bad.." he says quietly, looking at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, probably unsure of what to do. "I dunno.. I'm sorry.." I say quietly, sighing. "No, no.. I understand the feeling.. I just wish I did something sooner, I thought it was a two day thing, it's almost been a month.. I'd love if you said what was wrong, maybe I can figure out a way to help you, sweetheart.." He says softly, pulling me into his lap, giving my a kiss on the forehead as he runs his fingers through my hair. As soon as I feel his hands I feel a sense of safety, feeling not so tense as before, the kiss on the forehead making me feel loved. "I.. I just feel so empty.. I don't feel like I can escape it, I think it's gonna be with me forever.." I say quietly, curling inti a ball into his lap. "It gets better... as much as you think it doesn't it does.. look at where I am now.. do you think I'm better? If I got better you can to.." matt says, petting my hair softly. "I guess.. but.. obviously we aren't going through the same things.." I say, sighing softly. "Yeah, but doesn't mean I can't help you, me and nick and Chris try our best to take care of you, obviously because we chose to adopt you and you should be with mom and dad with Boston but we agreed to have you here, so your stuck with us until we see mom and dad again if you want to stay with them" he says, looking down at me. "No.. as much as I love them I don't think I could last two days without you guys.." I say. He just sighs, before picking me up with a soft groan and putting me on the bed, I guess I'm getting heavy..

"I'm gonna go whip up something to eat, do you want anything?" He asks, heading to the door and opening it. 'No, I'm okay.." I say quietly. He nods and leaves, leaving me and my thoughts. I sigh, sitting up, wondering what to do. I cuddle in my blankets, trying to sleep, not quite sure what to do.

It's been like 30 minutes, and I'm half asleep when someone comes into my room, it's Nick. "Matt told me to bring this to you, hope your doing okay" he says as he puts a plate of bacon down with a couple pancakes with a rice cake that has some honey on it and some strawberries. I didn't know we had any. "Thank you.." I say quietly, taking the plate and putting it on my nightstand and standing up to give nick a hug. We hug for a few seconds before he pulls away, heading to the door. "If you need anything, just text or call one of us, we are going out today though with some people, so if we are we will let you know before we go" he says, closing my door. I stand up, heading to my desk, sitting down and staring at my food. I poke around the food for a little before grabbing the rice cake, taking a small bite, finishing the rice cake and looking at the pancakes. I eat like two and I eat a peice if bacon, leaving my plate on my desk, before getting into bed and going on my phone, wondering what to do. I end up falling asleep, sleeping the day away I guess.

Okay guys I'm not quite sure if your liked that there's alot of were there like 1525 and to me that's quite alot of words so bye everybody that story was a bit boring let me know if you like these

Word count: 1545