Seed of a Pine

Chapter 20

I reentered the villa by the front door, not wanting to come through the back and make it obvious that I had overheard those guys.

"Where did you go?" Astrid asked.

"I just went for a stroll out there," I said quickly. She offered me another glass of wine and I accepted. She, Mora and Takan were playing some sort of card game. I joined them and for a while we laughed and had a good time playing this game stitch. It was sort of similar to some of the card games back home. After a while those guys wanted to do a vodka shot. I declined, it sounded like a bad idea. Everyone but me did one shot. After that, Astrid put on some music and we had an impromptu dance party that ended up in mostly everyone breaking off to chat with each other. I talked to Mora about her parent's restaurant for a time. Apparently Mora could have gone to chef school if she had wanted but she opted for forestry. Another round of shots came around, but only Lizal, Takan and Astrid took one.

Voldov, I noticed was looking a bit put out. He caught my eye and smiled briefly, jerking his head towards the door that led to the porch. I took the hint and headed outside with him. The night was crisper than before and I shivered a bit. Voldov, ever aware of things like this, held up a blanket to me, which I wrapped around myself. Neither of us spoke at first. My mind was no longer racing from the overheard conversation but there was still a lingering unease I couldn't shake. Voldov seemed moody.

We just stood leaning on the railing, staring out towards where I knew the sea was. Finally I said, "thank you Voldov."

He glanced at me but didn't reply. I continued, "it would have been absolutely depressing to come on this vacation alone now that I'm here with all of you and it's so wonderful. So really, thanks so much for making this happen."

Voldov stretched against the railing and sighed. "And here I was thinking it would have been better if I had only invited you."

He said it matter-of-factly but my heart jolted. Unbidden, my mind painted a scene of just the two of us in this villa for five days straight. Would I have accepted the trip had that been the case?

"I know you wouldn't have come if it was just me though," Voldov said as though reading my mind. "So I figured this was the only way."

I felt something akin to panic rising in my blood stream. What was he saying, that he had done all this just to get me out here with him? Maybe he was just a little drunk, but he was suddenly making me nervous, even though his demeanor was completely calm and collected. I didn't know what to say. I felt hot all over, a bit loose from the wine, confused by what he had just said and what he had said earlier. I pushed off from the railing, unable to stand there a moment longer. I needed to move away or else I didn't know what was going to happen.

Voldov turned quickly at my departure. "I'm sorry Remy," he said. "That over the line."

I stopped, my fists clenched. Shit. Maybe I was drunk too. I turned back around and walked up to him. His eyes registered surprise as I came in close and kissed him on the lips. Even though he seemed a bit thrown, he certainly didn't deny me. His arms snaked around me quickly as though afraid I would leave if he didn't hold onto me. I broke off the kiss, my entire body on fire. I needed to breathe. Voldov didn't let me go. He seemed to need to catch some breath himself.

"Is this ok?" he asked uncertainly.

"I have no idea," I said honestly, placing my head against his chest.

"Ok, not exactly the declaration of romance I was hoping for," he joked, nuzzling my neck. Damn it felt good.

"Well if it helps, there's no pressure from my end. I'm open to whatever you want to do."

"That's not helpful," I said, breathing in his scent. It was soft and clean and reminded me more of the forest than the sea.

He took a deep breath. I think he was actually pretty flustered because his voice came out a bit shaky. "Well, if I were to suggest something, I'd like to date you. I know that might be too much for you right now. If you can't, we can be friends. I like that too it's just..." he took another breath. "I can't stop thinking about you."

The last part felt so intense I could hardly breathe. At this rate I was going to pass out. I took my own steadying breath. My head was swimming, it was impossible to order my thoughts and make a decision, especially when it felt so nice to be held by him. I didn't want that to end. But I couldn't jump into something in such a whirlwind.

"I'm sorry, I still don't know," I said meekly. "I know it's not fair to you, but can I have some time to think about this?"

"Take all the time you need," he said, although he didn't move away from me. I didn't push him off or anything.

Finally he nuzzled my neck once more and placed a kiss there, causing my entire body to erupt in goosebumps. Then he moved away reluctantly. "Just trying to give myself an edge," he said as a joke, but it sounded almost shy. "I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning."