Letters To Claudette

Chapter one: One week before

Claudette's P.O.V
I never thought of my self as the type to be overly affectionate to some one. I've always held my self at a certain position. But when I meant him its like the story of my life re-wrote its self. To fall in love with this boy was never part of my intentions, but his dazzling smiles and lingering touch changed my intentions.
Here I was, freshly 18 living my life in what I believe is the best way possible. Laid in the chest of the man I love. Although it was the middle of summer, we were snuggled in a mess of blankets. It was like Antarctica in my bedroom due to the lack of cloths on our bodies and the A/C blasting. He stroked my hair , his hand tracing down my bare back, down to my back dimples then back up. I sneek a look at his face, a structured jaw line, minimal beard hair. His eyelashes rest on his face , his eyes closed and a slight smirk plastered on his face
" you know, its not polite to stare" he says slightly opening one eye. " ah damn , you caught me red handed" I say lifting my self to place a kiss on his lips.
Spencer and I have been together for a year and a half. We graduated a month ago , shortly after we moved in together, despite my mothers desperate attempts to get me to stay, insisting that moving in with Spencer so soon was ignorant. But we're both happy and still breathing. But just to make sure, she calls every night to make sure I haven't changed my mind.
"Well I think we should get dressed" he says sitting up making me fall onto the pillows. He stretches his long arms and torso. " or we could lay in bed and avoid responsibility " I say lifting the blanket to my shoulders. My body was sore from our recent... Activities. "If only it were that easy love. " he says kissing me firmly and getting up. I watch him walk to the closet and pull out cloths for me and himself. " would you like to join me for a shower ? " he asks , his flirty grim spread across his face.
"Sounds fun" I say getting up.

The hot water hits my body. It feels like the cold is melting off of me and it feels amazing. " Claudie , its be great if you'd share the water " Spencer says moving my body from the water. He takes my wet hair in his hands and lathers soap through my head and hair. Then does the same to his. I start to wash my upper body and he washes my back , then I do the same to him.

After our shower we go to the kitchen. Spencers face twists with worry. I already know what he's about to bring up, I want to cover my ears before he can even say it , but I know its an unavoidable conversation and we have to discuss it. "Claudette, they're calling drafts for the war. You know I've signed up. I know its a touchy subject but we have to talk about this" he says looking me in my eyes. Cowardly , I look to the floor. " I know. " I basically whisper.
Last year in 2018 war broke out. Its gotten worse. When Spencer turned 18 he signed up to be enlisted against my suggestion. I didn't stop him because its not in my jurisdiction to control him like he's a child. "Baby , I know it hurts. But if I get called we need to discus what we're going to do. Are you going to move back in with your mother ? " he idiotically asks
If looks could kill he could be dead " why in the hell would I move in with my mother? Are you trying to indicate that I'm incapable of living on my own ?" I ask sneering at him.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. " no Claudette, I'm just asking. I thought it might make the departure easier. Baby, I don't want to argue, im just worried about what this could do to us" he says. His tone low and stressed. I walk to him and wrap both arms around his waist , my face going into his chest. I let out a desperate breath. " I don't want you to leave" and then the tears flow out like a stream.

Crying has never been my thing . but when it comes to him I can't help it. I couldn't describe what I feel for him. But if I could use a word it'd be love. When I was younger , I was convicned teenage love didn't happen and that all my friends were incredibly stupid for believing in it. Then I started dating Spencer. He rewrote the world and painted it in color. He wasn't my first boyfriend. I've had 3 others who were just little pass times to tell me I was pretty when I needed it.
But Spencer was my first and only love . We started dating when I was 16 & 1/2. And no, he didn't take my virginity. But that didn't change a thing. So sitting here crying like a 2 year old in the middle of our small kitchen in his arms because I'm scared the world will rip him away from me, isn't exactly how I planned our relationship to go.

He strokes my hair. " Claud , its not definite. Its just something that could possibly happen. But I want our time spent together to be joyful and not full of crying and despair" he says. I pull away and look at him. " okay " I say sniffling and wiping my eyes. What a pathetic mess I must be. "Well" I say looking at the clock " we have to pick up some groceries, let's go" I say grabbing the car keys and pulling his hand.

I try to clear my mind of the possible future ahead of us.