A Heart Made Of Stone

4: tough love

Alone on the poolside I sat, listening to "The Legacy" and "Perfect Weapon" by Black Veil Brides. I pretended that I had a guitar in my hands and I played my heart out, singing from the depths of my soul.
As I sang, pictures flashed through my head and before I knew it tears flooded in my eyes.
I listened to those songs for hours.
I splashed the water with my feet as the music ran through me like the blood in my veins. I had soaked the poolside and drenched my tank top. I grabbed the towel I was sitting on, not much of a help because the towel was also soaked.
It was a cool night, and the wind blew innocently over me, sending chills in my body.
I went inside and started to write. ~ Ever heard someone tell ya "eh tough love kid" well I've gotten used to it. I've had a whole lot of tough love in my life. The world is a cruel place and it's hard to live in.
Especially when you have parents, well a whole family who does not support your sexuality.
I'm so damn proud of my Uncle Sean who lives in Alaska and is married to a man named Don. He came out to both sides of his family, and both sides resented him. He actually wrote me a letter saying he didn't give a fuck.
Tough love is love that is hard to find. Remember I told you about the love of my life? Well it's a she, and yes I am pansexual. Any relationship I've had with a guy has hurt me more than anything, but I still believe that there are good guys out there. Sadly all my prince charmings have been like Anna's "prince charming" (from Frozen) so, I leaned towards girls in 8th grade, but I vaguely remember that I had a minor crush on a girl (love I my life) and I thought "why the hell am I attracted to this woman?, I'm straight." Joke was on me because little did I know that next year I'd label myself as Pansexual.
I'm not using real names for others' sake, but lets just say that the love of my life's name is Catherine.
So I actually dated Catherine towards the end of the school year. Most times when there was a gay couple in school. The news would go viral, but not really. I guess only a few people knew that Catherine and I were dating (of course I don't know how because we made it obvious as hell *laughs*) or it was that everyone knew and just didn't care. Either or, I'm thankful for.