Accident Sex / Vmin

9

"I don't think this will work".
"Why aren't you ready to put some effort".
"Why would I waste my time on some thing that my heart is not into".
"Don't you dare leave like you don't care Tae".
Jimin couldn't name what he felt .
The emotions are so merged to name what was felt.

Tae turned one last time to see Jimin before joining his brothers.

Tear drops slipped out of Jimin's eye. The hot tears burned the grasses it grazed. The moist blurred his vision but he could sense Tae laughing with the members.He wiped the tears with the back of his hand as slowly he made his way towards a tall tree.

When he reached , his legs gave out the final strength it was griping to . The scenery felt no more painted in colours but in raw agony, angry and confusion.

The gentle grass felt like thorns under his clothes , piercing all the way up to heart choking him with mixed emotions.

What eyes can believe the same person who was gently pushing Jin was the one who had no interest in mending their friendship.

Jimin's mind clouded with different questions smugging the line separating reality and overthinking.
Was it only me who wants this to work? Was it only my love that kept this friendship surviving? Was it only me who fears to let go? Was it only me who loved him like no one? Was it only me who feels this deep? Was it easy for him to let go of us just like that? Don't our friendship and I mean anything to him?

Tae started playing with the members and all Jimin could do was grieve, grieve and grieve. The pain crushing his heart was something he had never experienced before . The last time he lost some friend it hurt him like death and this hurt like hell , a pain he could never escape.

Why does it hurt so much? Was my love purely platonic? Pains so differently to claim it platonic. Do I love him more than a friend. Why can't I know?

God it hurts.

Could there be any chance to go back to what we were before?
Well, who knew what Tae felt.

Do I want him the way we were?
Yes.
Do I want him more than we used to be?
N..n..not sure.
Soo...... Does it mean I want him to be my LOVER?

Thats not now to figureout. Let me make him talk to me first.....atleast....TALK. I don't mind losing a lover I want my friend back.

Jimin started spinning all the possible ways to get back together. He didn't mind pleading his friend or to talk about them in front of his band members . He didn't mind being judged if they did .Wiping the tears he stood from the place . His pace grew heavy with each step he closed the distance between them.

"Why aren't you trying Tae?" his voice cracked.

"What are you talking about?"

Only if these words could numb his pain.

"What are you Tae?"
His fingers curled the piece of cloth hugging Tae . The grief dipped words came out more like a plea . Jimin leaned his head towards Tae's chest griping his shirt .

Tae stood still without moving and it was giving off I don't give a fuck kind of response.

"Am I not worth it Tae? It's fine."

Jimin started weeping putting out all the suppressed sadness.

His heart pained more realising neither his tears nor his words moved Tae unlike how it did to him from the beginning and how it would never change ever.

The depth differs for each person. People may not love in the same frequency as the other one does. So people prevail in romantic relationships without knowing the existence of difference in frequencies .Maybe everyone had to feel how their heart cracks to find this. And then it becomes too late to show how deep they love. Well... may be this was not true but that was what Jimin thought, after the breakdown.

Jimin knew he loved him not the way he thought he did but he couldn't pinpoint the reason.

He was confused. Confused of what he felt. Confused of what to do. Confused if it would work or not. Confused if this break gave peace to Tae that he couldn't offer.
Confused if he should plead Tae to stay. Confused if his pleading would make Tae hate him more. Confused if Tae was lying . Confused why Tae behaved in such a way. Confused if he was his Tae anymore.

Those sad eyes of his members couldnt comfort him nor reduce the pain that was consuming him. All they could do was to pity Jimin.

And Jimin didn't mind being pitied. Getting his friend meant more to him than those pitiful gazes looking at him.

The world seemed to be the least option now . He convinced himself to get back atleast his friend hiding the fact that his mind was tangled with friendship and love. May be this greedy mind would grow with time. Maybe that was the last time he was with Tae.

"I love you Tae" out of no where he said out loud. Wasn't he plotting to bring back their friendship? Or did I miss something.....it seams I did.

The members were shocked to death and so did Tae and I

Jimin tore up again.

All of a sudden, Jimin felt the hand placed on his cheek wiping away the moist slipping out from his closed eyes.

He lifted his heavy eyelids slowly consuming his surroundings. Through the blurred visions his eyes locked the already staring ones. And reality hit him like a truck letting him to know that all that happened was just a DREAM.