Gravity Falls: Rewritten!

Weirdmageddon Part 2: Escape From Reality

The Fearamid was as lively as ever, with creatures continuing their wild partying as if there were no tomorrow. Time was dead—they had literally witnessed Time Baby get vaporized—and meaning had lost all meaning in the chaos.

Bill tapped a fork on the still-petrified Ford Pines, causing the music to stop abruptly. Everyone turned their uniquely-shaped heads toward him. "Ladies, gentlemen, Nathaniel," he said, side-eyeing the last abominable creature. "It's been fun turning Gravity Falls inside out, rounding up all its terrified citizens, and stacking them into this massive throne of frozen human agony!"

He settled onto the throne, reassuring the crowd, "Don't worry. They're not conscious anymore! Probably."

As if on cue, Lazy Susan began to regain consciousness, her breathing slowly returning. "Uh, my omelets... they- they have friendly faces."

"Whoops! Hehe, back—back you go there." He poked the woman back into place, turning her back to stone. "But Gravity Falls is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos worldwide!" he exclaimed, opening up the Fearamid to let his gang loose. "To the corners of the Earth! Set the world aflame with your weirdness. This dimension is ours!"

Bill watched with glee as his henchmen flew toward the skies, only to be unexpectedly stopped by a barrier. The impact was so jarring, like slamming into a brick wall, that it knocked them unconscious for a moment. Bill screamed in disbelief and floated out to investigate.

He pressed a finger against the barrier and felt it, an invisible force field trapping all of Weirdmageddon within the confines of Gravity Falls. It rippled like a bubble as he poked it. "This might be more complicated than I thought," he muttered to himself.

"I- I think I broke something!"

"WALK IT OFF!"

***

***

Back in the Fearamid, Bill paced around with his hands behind his back, scheming. His henchmen were slumped on the floor, nursing their bruises in despair. Bill was livid. "Okay, can anyone explain to me why, even with our newfound INFINITE POWER, none of us can escape the borders of this stupid, hick town!"

He scanned the lineup of his henchmen, calling them out. "Anyone, anyone, I'm looking at you, Eyeball, Lava Lamp Guy, anyone?! Suggestions?!"

Finally, someone raised their hand from the bunch, making Bill raise an eyebrow. "Uh, Paci-Fire?" The demon resembled a dark gray infant-like being with enormous black horns and an additional face on his torso that had nipple-like light red eyes with red pupils, sucking a namesake red pacifier linked to a chain attached to a lone shackle on his left ankle.

Paci-Fire pulled out his pacifier before summoning a small blackboard. A deep voice came from the mouth on his belly. "It appears that this town functions as a weirdness magnet, drawing strange things toward its center." Illustrations appeared on the board as he explained. "Without a way to reverse the polarity, our powers will be trapped within the location of Gravity Falls forever."

Bill rolled his eyes. "Okay, we get it. Great, you went to college, you got big words! Any idea how to fix this?"

The henchmen looked at each other, clueless. After a moment, 8-Ball spoke up, "Okay, well I've been reading some science books, and I think we can solve this if we, uh, party harder?" A silence washed over them. "Right?"

Bill pointed at him. "Wrong. You're dust now."

With a snap of his fingers, the creature vaporized into nothing but dust, leaving his 8-Ball eyes rolling on the ground.