Male! Reader x Female! AU! Sanses (REMASTER) Love for.. SANS UNDERTABLE?

I'D WIN. (4)

Your fat ass woke up after sleeping on the couch because you got smacked on the head which made you eep, cause Classic was mad you soloed her.

Y/N: "man.. my big back self is needing some food... fr.."
Fell was just laying next to you, she definitely had a hangover.
Fell: "bro.. shut the fuck up. don't you have.. like.. women to grab??"
Y/N: "dam you right, you right."
Fell: "Yo ass is NOT black don't talk like that."
Y/N: "that's racist."
Fell: "nuh uh."
Y/N: "FUCK!"

You grab your Portal 1 portal gun and you make a portal to a random AU.

You walk around, and DAMN is it sick, and then-
"MY COOKIE!"
You look down, and you see 1. a crumbled cookie under your foot, and 2, a girl crying at your feet.
"YOU KILLED MY COOKIE!"
Y/N: "wha-"
Epic: "MY NAME IS SANS EPICTALE, AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I'LL SUE YOU FOR MURDERING MY COOKIE!"

Y/N: "I'm so cooked... anyways wanna be my bbq.. my.. barbeque?"
Epic: "If you have cookies... ong.."
Y/N: "Eh, Swap does anything, I'll tell her to make cookies."
Epic: "BET!"
You just yeet her into Swap's house which you just decided is the home base, and since you don't have any au's left that are feasible, you just go back.

LV UP!
601-602 HP
550-551 ATK
1-2 DEF
 
You chill on the couch like a fatass.
Classic: "Y/N!! YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH US!!"
Y/N: "I don't give a fuck, I'm getting high with The J and Fell!The J."
The J: "PREACH."
Fell!The J: "NO WOMEN WILL STOP US FROM GETTING HIGH."

Hours later:
Horror: "Is.. is his soul.. melting??"

You wake up later, with your soul.. ALMOST cracked in half.. which.. makes it hurt.
Y/N: "ow.. ow ow ow!" You fall off the couch, looking at the black bones everywhere.
"Huh.. where... is everyone?" You see some yellow arrows in the walls. "THE FUCKING TV!"

You walk out the house, seeing the convenient portal, walking in, you see a random yellow lady sans on the floor, injured, and a goopy sans girl (goopy pussy goes hard)