Ark College - Bellarke

Chapter 17

Bellamy POV.
I know that I have hurt Clarke. But I never relized how bad. I never thought that I would make her feel so hurt that she is going to move home. I took my car to Clarke's student house, even if it was just 10 minutes walk. When I were at Clarke's room, I didn't care about knocking. I just Went inside. Damn it! All her stuff is gone. I'm shocked about it, but in the same time not. I ran out off the student house and to the parking lot. I could see Clarke starting her car when I walked over to her car. I jumped into the car before Clarke even had a chance to drove away. All I could Think about was that she can't go. She can't leave. She has all the rights to be angry at me. More than angry. I can't let her go, even if she hates me. I could see in Clarke's eyes that she had been crying. She was a mess, and that's my fault.
-Princess, you can't leave.
-You aren't aloud to tell me what I am going to do or not to do. And you are not aloud to call me that again.
-I know, and I'm not going to push you. But please stay. I need you princ- I didn't have had the chance to finish my sentence
-It's Clarke, not princess anymore.
-I know that you are angry at me. I'm so sorry. You need to belive me. For the first time, Í am actually sorry. I never meant to leave you.
-I would belive you. But I can't Bellamy. Not now. If you didn't mean to leave me. Why did you  do that? And why are you coming back when I'm moving home? Just to make me stay here, and not talking to me? Just keep avoiding me? Don't say that you are sorry. I won't belive you. I'm tierd of hearing that from everybody.
-I'm going to say it anyway. I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for avoiding you. And if I could, I would go back in time and change that. I would stay. I can't live without you.
-Not good enough.
-Clarke..
-Did you ever loved me? She asked and tears started to stream down her cheeks. I didn't know what I should say. I know the answer for that question. Yes, I love Clarke. More than anything. I didn't say that out loud. I opened the door, jumped out off the car and opened Clarke's door instand. I left her up in my arms like I did the same day that we come home from the hospital, when she was asleep. She had wrapped her arms around my neck. But now she didn't do that. Instand she started to kick me and screaming that I should let her down. She is a Little fighter. But I'm much stronger than her. I was going to carry her into her and Octavia's room so that we could have a little talk. When we were in her student house, I was still carrying her. She was still kicking me. She strarted to scream. Other girls came out off their rooms and looked at what was going on. They looked at us with a really weird expressions. They are used to see us being together and all over each other. But this was a new side off us that they saw. We were now outside Clarke's room. I locked up the door and locked it again when we were inside. I sat down Clarke on her bed. The room were pretty empty. Clarke had so many things with her. But now, they all there in her car.
-Clarke, you have to listen to me.
-No, I don't
-Yes you do. Look at you.
What's wrongg with me? I Think that you should ask yourself that. She half laugh. Like those evil laugh.
-You probably Heard me and Octavia talking?
-Of course I did.
-I know that you are angry at me Clarke..
-No, I'm not angry. I can't be angry at you.
-What? You aren't? Why? I would be angry at me if I were you
-I'm really dissapointed at you Bellamy Blake. You left me alone. I know that I have Octavia, Lincoln and my parents. But that's not the same. I haven't you. You hurt me more than I ever thought you could. You hurt me more than ever. I want to be with you Bellamy. I really do. But if you aren't sure that this is what you won't, when go. But don't just leave me. Tell me that you are going to leave instand off just doing that. You made this whole week a living hell for me. Do you know what? I'm going to keep the baby. Even if you don't want to be a part of this Life. Apart of me and the baby. I understand that this is hard for you Bellamy. I know that this is really hard even for me. But I can do it again. I said. Wait, why did I  say that last part?
-What Clarke? Doing this again? Have you lied to me?
-Bellamy, stop. Not now. You have to trust me.
-Of course I trust you. I trust you more than I trust anyone. But you have to tell me Clarke. I want to be here for you.
-You Always says that you want to be here for me. That's probably a lie. When it comes to this baby, our baby, you are leaving. Not just me Bellamy! Or are you just going to leave?
-Of course I'm staying. I will always stay her, with you. But you need to tell me Clarke.
-Okay. But this is as hard to talk as talking about Charlotte. You are the first one that I'm telling this for. So, one month Before the find Charlotte in Jack's house, he and a couple of his friends took me to a little house in the forest. I was stupid enough to follow them. I don't even know why I followed them. We all started to drink. At least what I thought. They never drank. I got really tierd but I was still awake. The alcohol was still in my body, but I remember Everything. I haven't forget about this. It haunts me when I'm asleep. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Jack told me that it was okay that I sleept on the sofa. So I did. Middle in the night I woke up. I couldn't now. I was tied up. I was screaming and crying. Nobody came. I didn't know where I was. I was so scared. I was totally awake now. Nobody could hear me because we were in the forest outside the city. Before the had tied me up, they had undressed me. I can't even tell you how scared I was. I was hurt. When they had undressed me they had just walked away. They left me there for hours. I thought that they would leave me there to die. I had almost fall asleep, when a man stood in the room. Infront of me. I looked up. It was Jack! He started to rape me. When he was done he walked away. I thought that this time they would actually leave me. He came back Three times and raped me again. Over and over. I didn't have the straigh to do anything. The last time I just let him do that. I felt awful. His friends came back and untied me. When they had done that. They took their car and drove away. I was left. The only way I could come home was if I walked. I walked for four hours. Until one older women picked me up. She was really friendly. I never talked about it. I didn't tell my parents yet. They saw that something was wrong with me. So they send me to a psycholog. I just sat there for three, I didn't said a word. She talked to my parent. I still didn't talked. My parent were worried about me. My mother is a doctor, one time she let me take a pregnancy test. I was pregnant with Jack's child because he raped me. I hated my life so much I was so depressed. I didn't go to school for two month. When I came back to school, everybody talked about me. Gossip and romurs were all over school.The thought that I was a slut just because Jack had raped me. I told the police that Jack had raped me. They drove to Jack's house. They looked all over the house. Until they find Charlotte dead. When I started college in my hometown, everybody know who I was. I started to get bullied, hated and more like that. Some times when I come hme, I had bruises on my body. My parents know about this even if I didn't told them. They understood what was going on. They hurted me so bad. The second year at college I started here. And Everything started good. But Everything got so complicated. My Life has been a living hell. You and Octavia came into my Life and I got so much happier. I have never been so happy. But things got complicated. And I fall in love with you Bellamy. After that I got pregnant with your baby and I want to keep it and I want you in my Life. But you left me. All I hope now is that you won't look at me and Think that I am somebody that I'm not. The real me is the one that is around you. They one that love you.
-I...I can't belive what you Went through that. It's more than terrible. I truly wished that I was there for you. And stoped them from doing all off that to you. You haven't done anything do deserve this. You are the most Beautiful, Amazing, smartest, funniest girl I ever meet. And you deserve the best. And next time that I see Jack, I'm going to break all this bones.
-I already broke some of this bones. Clarke said and smiled for the first time
-Really?
-Yeah, when he told the police that it was true that he raped me, killed and hide Charlotte. I got so angry that I attacked him . I broke both his legs and one arms. That felt so good. Am I horrible for feeling that?
Of course not. I would wanted to see that. I said and smiled.
Meanwhile Clarke told me the whole story I had leaned against the wall. I Went over and sat down on the egde of her bed, beside Clarke. I looked into her eyes,until she broke the eyes contact and smiled.
-Clarke?
-Yeah. She said soft. 
-I mean it and I'm going to say it again. I'm so sorry.
-I know. She smiled
-Am I aloud to call you princess again?
-Yes, you are. You are the only one that are aloud to call me that. She smiled after she said that
-One more thing princess. I'm so in love with you, and you are just my princess. I said and kissed her forehead.
-And who said that I'm yours now? She said and smirked
I wasn't expecting her to say that. I don't know what was so funny. Clarke started to laugh so much.
-What?
-You should seen your expression. It was so funny. She said and keep laughing
-Oh really? As fun as this? I smirked and leaned in and kissed her gentle. I really missed kissing princess. My princess. Why did I even stayed away and avoid her? She is the best thing that ever happened to me. My princess is my air, my Everything. Clarke wrapped her legs around my waist like last time. Clarke sat on top of me. I took of Clarke's sweater. I could see her baby bump start to grow. I squeezed her bump and draw circles with my thumb. I could see Clarke smiling. She is so Beautiful. I know in this moment that Clarke is the only girl that I want to spened my Life with. When i had undressed her, she undressed me much faster. I kissed her cheek and lower and lower on her body. This is one of the best feelings that Clarke make me feel.  We rolled over so that I was on top of Clarke now. I squeezed Clarke's cheek meanwhile I kissed her jaw and neck.
-I love you. I am in love with you princess. You are the most Beautiful and perfect girl in this World.
-That's so sweet. And I'm in love with you to Bellamy Blake.