It Reminds Me That Im Alive...

I'm Sorry.

You woke up the next again day snuggled into Jim's chest, you bit your lip and slowly got up. You loved lying beside Jim and cuddling with him, but in the mornings your wounds from the previous night tended to open back up, usually you dealt with it in your on sweet bathroom but you were at Jim's house and you didn't have a private bathroom here, you had one that you had to share with your boyfriend who new nothing about your depression or self harm issues. You sighed as you snuck into the bathroom making sure Jim didn't wake up, you sighed and  began to clean your wounds up, you weren't going to let him see these scars and wounds, it just wouldn't happen not in the slightest. You bit your lip as you stripped off changing into a spare pair of clothes you had left in the bathroom last night. You sighed and picked up your jeans, you stoppped dead when you heard a small gasp fom the door. 'No...' You thought as you slowly turned around seeing Jim standing there a paine look in his eyes. "Jim...". You whispered as you watched him turn and walk out of the bathroom, you let tears fall down your cheeks as you slowly got dressed...

You walked out of the bathroom half an hour later, you made your way back to the bedroom, seeing Jim on the bed staring down at his hands. You took a deep breath in as you began to pack your things into you bag, you weren't even bothering to wipe the tears from your cheeks you just continued to pack until you heard a voice from behind you.
"What are you doing?". Jim's voice echoed from behing you as you stared up to him biting your lip hard as you held back a sob.
"I'm leaving Jim, i don't want to stay here for you just to hate me". You mumured, trying your hardest not to let the sob that was building up in your throat leave your lips.
"What? Y/N I don't want you to leave... Why would you think that i do?". Jim asked his voice pained that you would even think such a thing, you slowly turned around you couldn't hold it back anymore. You began to sob uncontrollably.
"Y-you seen m-my cuts and s-scars". You choked out as you looked at him, tears streaming down your face. Jim looked at you sadly before pulling you into a tight embrace, he kissed the top of your head as he softly stroked your back.
"Sweetheart... the reason i walked out of the bathroom is because i was disappointed in myself for not being there all the times you needed me". He whispered and looked down at you with soft eyes. You sniffled and held onto him tighter.
"So.. you don't hate me?". You whispered as you held onto him, never wanting to let go of him, or wanting to leave his side at all. You loved him to much, you didn't want to ever leave his side because he was the one that made you feel alive.
"Of course i don't hate you, i could never hate you. You are the love of my life Y/N Y/L/N i would never let you leave my side, as i am madly in love with you. You are the only woman for me, and i promise on everything i stand for that i will help you through this no matter what. As long as you tell me why you done it". He whispered holding you close to him, biting his lip as he looked down a you wiping your tears.

You sniffled slightly and stared down for a moment before looking up at Jim. You took a deep breath in biting your lip. "I-it.. it reminds me that i'm alive..". You whispered in a small voice, Jim held you close never wanting to let you go...