Thin Ice

Chapter Four

Cassie:

    "A party?" The panic from before returns to his eyes, and I lift my hands.

    "Yes, I was thinking about it, and you need friends outside of hockey." He falls silent for a moment, and I can practically see the gears turning in his head.

    "Well, maybe, but I don't have much luck in the friends department."

    "You became friends with me pretty fast."

    "You're different."

    "How so?"

    "No one's ever been like you when I tell them I have anxiety. Everyone either doesn't want to deal with me from then on, or treats me like I'm a kid who just lost his dog."

    "Maybe it's because you treat your mental illness like your supposed dead dog. Anxiety doesn't make you who you are. You are not your anxiety or your depression. Of course, you have those things, but that doesn't mean that you have nothing else going for you. You don't have to tell people that you have mental issues if you don't want to anyways. Besides, I have a few friends who would be at this party that have anxiety or depression. I don't think it's to the extent of yours, but maybe it'd be good to meet them," The look on his face from before comes back. It's like he's never met another person with mental issues before. His eyes soften, and his hair sways from the hot air coming through the vents.

    "That... makes sense," He says gently. He pauses for a second, and I expect him to say more and I think he wants to say more, but he doesn't.

    After a few moments of silence and watching his face move from fascination to pondering, I can't take the silence anymore and I turn the conversation back to the main point, "So, this party. It's this weekend. It'll be pretty big because I have a lot of friends, but it'll be good for you to get out and meet new people."

    His eyebrows cast down and the corners of his lips follow in the same direction, "If I'm being honest, parties scare me. It seems like there's just too many people all the time."

    "Only focus on one, me, and if you get overwhelmed we can leave."

    "I'm not sure... nevermind," Devin looks away from me, and for a second I feel guilty for asking him to come, but I think it'll be beneficial for him to step out of his comfort zone and he knows he has the option of leaving if things get too rough. When I said some of my friends have anxiety, I meant very mildly, like they get the shakes when they have to give a speech. I'm not exactly sure what it's like being in Devin's shoes, but I guess I'll figure out what he can handle. This will be good for his image anyway, being with me. I know a lot of people, and I can already think of a couple who would adore Devin.

    "Don't be nervous, I've got your back," I say with a smile. He bites his lip and turns his head away in response. I know he probably doesn't want to go to a party, but it's good to experience something outside of your comfort zone every once in a while. I put my hand on top of his, and that gets him to look at me again, "Now how about that milkshake?"

    Driving seems to get Devin's mind off of the party matter, and as we pull into the drive-through of Jed's Diner, the local infamous diner that's been here since before we were born, I lean forward in the seat of his car to scan the menu. I've already tried the chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, cookies and cream, grasshopper, and brownie extreme shakes, and I have my eye on the Heath one. I try to try something new every time I come here even though it isn't often because I feel like every kind needs a chance to be a favorite. The cookies and cream was phenomenal, but if I got that one every time, I would never know that I liked the grasshopper better.