TommyInnit Seedfolk Oneshot

Tommy

TW/CW(?): Mentions of suicide

I walked with my two best friends, Tubbo and Ranboo, through the city. I didn't want to be at home. Home made me think of him too much. And I didn't even have some cool stress relief like fencing-my older brother's hobby, he's been doing it a lot more since we lost Wilbur. So Tubbo and Ranboo drug me out here to go on a walk. We were on our way to the park we always go to. To the bench we've claimed as ours.

Ranboo paused as we passed a garden. I wasn't really paying attention. Just staring blankly at the ground. "Hey," The masked boy spoke up, staring at the garden. I looked up. "I've never seen this before."

"We usually don't come this way. Usually we go around past the ice cream parlor." Tubbo says. Ranboo shrugged then the two boys were continuing on, but I didn't move. I stared at the plants, at the people tending to them. How happy they looked. How free.

"You coming Toms?" Tubbo asked, pausing to look back at me. I didn't answer, I just turned and walked through the gate separating the garden from the street. My two best friends-my only true friends-gave each other a worried look before they followed quickly behind me. This walk was for me, wasn't it? So if I wanted to wander through some random garden in Cleveland, I knew they weren't about to stop me.

I walked through the garden until I saw a group of girls in the dirt. They looked close to my age. I recognized a few of them from school, though I didn't know anyone by name.

"Excuse me," I started, one-a Mexican girl with a huge pregnant belly-looked up at me. There was mud on her eyebrow.

"Yes?" She huffed, eyeing me. "Oh, you're that-what was the name-you're Tommy right? I think we share math. I heard you lost your brother." I stiffened when she said that. I hated when people at school tried to talk to me about Wil's death. I just wanted to be left alone, was that too much to ask for? Too much to just be allowed to grieve in silence?

I decided to ignore the second thing she said and instead just replied, "Yeah I'm Tommy. What is this?"

She shrugs. "It's a community garden or something. I'm sure they're some places you can set up planting if you want." I looked at the plants all around me. The growing things smiled at me with inviting leaves, I could feel the uneven ground beneath my shoes. I eventually nodded and turned back to Tubbo and Ranboo. Together we three leave the garden and head to the park.

They don't ask me about my detour into the garden. The community garden. As Tubbo, Ranboo, and I sat on our bench I thought about what my therapist, Captain Puffy, had told me about finding something to do to take my mind off my older brother's suicide. Like Techno had done with fencing, I needed a stress relief. Maybe this could be it.

That night when I got back to the apartment, Tubbo and Ranboo had insisted on walking me all the way back to the door-which they did-I entered the small four bedroom apartment-that had never felt more empty-to hear my Mum, Kristen, in the kitchen. She was most likely making dinner. "Tommy, is that you?" She called.

"Yeah it's me." I called back, dumping my backpack on the ground near the door. "Hey Mumza, do you know if we have any seeds? Like for growing stuff?"

"Um, I'm not sure. I think we have some flower seeds I got for Wil's grave. Alliums maybe." She replied, sounding a tad confused as I walked into the kitchen and sat on my normal chair, not looking at the one to my left. "Why?"

"Puffy said I should find a hobby to take my mind off... you know.. Um, and there's this community garden on Gibb Street. I was thinking about growing something. Alliums are fine to plant. Ranboo likes them anyway." I said. Mumza smiled softly at me at the mention of my therapist. She was probably happy I was finally going to start taking her advice. It'd been long enough of me getting nowhere in the therapy both me and Techno were forced into. I understand why my parents wanted the two of us in therapy. We couldn't know for sure what it would have done for Wilbur, but maybe we wouldn't have lost him if he had had someone to talk to and we weren't ready to lose anyone else to something avoidable.

The next day I left the house early, the sun still low in the crimson sky. I made sure to leave a note on the counter saying I was fine and just went out with Tubbo and Ranboo. I then headed out of the apartment. I walked through the building, going from the fifth floor-my floor-down to the second floor, knocking hard on the front door of Ranboo's apartment. One of his mums opened the door. "Oh, Hello Tommy." She said, smiling.

"Hi Mrs. Beloved. I need Ran." I responded as she let me into the apartment.

"I'm pretty sure they're still sleeping but if you want-" I cut her off, sprinting through the small two bedroom apartment. I threw open the door to Ranboo's room and shouted "Get up Boo Boy, we're going gardening!"

My best friend shot up right as I startled them, blinking the sleep from their eyes. "Tommy what the heck, why are you in my room?" Ranboo groaned.
"Your Mum let me in. Come on, up. We're going back to that garden we saw yesterday." The teenager with split white-black hair sighed, knowing better than to question me.

"Fine," They agreed. "Just let me get changed. I doubt you've eaten given the time so go ask one of my Moms for some food, alright." I nodded and left Ranboo's bedroom, giving them their privacy. I walked back down the hall and into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. I knew Ran's Mums were fine with it. I had basically lived there for the first few months after Wilbur's death. I stayed away from my apartment as much as possible, I didn't want to be in the same house my brother had killed himself in. So I spent much of my time at either Tubbo or Ranboo's apartment, doing my best to hide from the pain and grief I haven't managed to escape, even months later. Ms. Beloved, a tall woman with dark skin and black hair, smiled at me and asked "Do you want me to make you something or are you just rummaging for a snack?"

"No, I just want, like, an apple or something." I say, grabbing two of said fruit and taking a bite from one of them. Ranboo came out of their room fully dressed, though they were lacking their mask and sunglasses. I threw one of the apples as Ranboo and they managed to catch it, then I said "Come on, let's head over to the garden."

"Two questions. First: why? Second: is Tubbo coming?" They asked, I shrugged.

"I dunno. We can go get him if you want, but like... I don't know. I just...." Ranboo seemed to understand. It's not like I don't want to include my best friend or anything, it's just that he's awesome for some things, just not everything. Tubbo's really good at distracting me from my grief, which a lot of the time is good for me, but for things like this, things that I'm doing to try to face my grief, Ranboo's better.

"Maybe later." I decide. "Another day, not today." Ranboo nods, understanding as always. They set the apple I had chucked at them on the counter, put on their mask and sunglasses, said goodbye to their Mums, and met me at the door. Together we left the apartment building and slowly walked in the direction of the community garden. Eventually Ranboo broke the silence.

"So what's the plan Tommy?"

I shrugged. I honestly wasn't sure. "I have some allium seeds we can plant." I suggest. And they nodded,

"Alright, let's go?"

Together Ranboo and I continued our walk to the Gibb Street Garden getting there quick enough. We walked past a ton of people and plants before finding an empty plot of land. I dropped my backpack down, digging into it to find the pack of allium seeds I'd grabbed. Me and Ran spent nearly the entire day there. We didn't talk for a long time, not until we'd planted my pack of alliums and staked out our area with some sticks Boo found.

Eventually as we sat together in the dirt, staring through the buildings surrounding the lot at the strip of sky in the direction of home, Ranboo finally broke the silence. "Why'd you want to do this Tommy?" Their voice was soft, tone making it obvious that if I didn't want to answer, I didn't have to.

I didn't respond for a long time before I finally whispered "I miss Wilbur." The taller teenager pulled off their mask and sunglasses and gently took my hands.

"I know, I know you miss him. I miss him too, not as much of course. But... Yeah.." They say, rubbing their thumb over my knuckles.

I break down after that, crying into the arms of one of my best friends. Eventually we left the garden, walking a few streets over to the cafe one of Techno's close friends, Nikki, runs.

Me and Ran sit in our usual spot and eat freshly baked treats and drink hot chocolate and laugh with Nikki when I spill a glass of water on Ranboo. This is good. This is a start. I will get better. I will heal. It will take time, but with people like Ranboo and Niki, a best friend like Tubbo, parents like Kristin and Phil, a brother like Techno, I will heal.