panic attack (1)

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love is driving me a bit insane - from the start, laufey.


"We'll be okay?" Marjorie sobbed to Autumn, her best friend. The other girl rubbed a hand along Marjorie's back in a soothing attempt, listening to her best friend in such a shaken up state really made her heart ache. She'd had this happen with other guys, more specifically some creeps, but seeing as this was her own brother it hurt so much more. "You'll be okay." She replied, nodding. Tears streamed down Marjorie's face, tracing her jaw and rolling down her neck like she'd wished Reece's hands to do to her.

The memory flashed through Marjorie's head constantly, remembering Autumn's comfort which she had found such a content comfort with. Marjorie thought she'd masked everything so well throughout the nursery, had been so focused on her work, but she'd failed. Everyone knew how exhausted she was, how drained she wound up being.

And also how besotted she was with her best friend's brother.

She woke up extra early this morning, applying her makeup in the same specific pattern that she did every morning, fear making her eyeliner slightly shaky and the highlighter in the inner corner of her eye was missing due to her simply and plainly forgetting.

Reece was her favourite person, someone she intended to spend the rest of her life with; although they hadn't yet kissed, held hands, or even talked about dating. She regretted every waking minute that she woke up without his body next to hers, hands interlocked with minimal distance between them.

And yet, he'd broken all of that with a simple action. He'd gotten back with Mia. Gladly.

She knew how much she broke an already fragile man, so feared what she'd do this time to him. She snapped out of her thoughts as she plugged in her curling iron to the outlet, carefully wrapping her hair around it. The sound of the simmering was a comfort sound at this point, before she released the clamp to let it go.

That routine continued for a while before she was finally finished, brushing out her twisted, coily hair to make it rest naturally on her shoulders. She picked up her phone, checking the time swiftly, it read '6:52'. She knew she had to go at around half-past 7, so scoured through her closet, picking up her favourite shirt and a random pair of jeans, throwing them on and standing in her mirror. Scars littered just above her waistband of the jeans, and she instinctively tugged her shirt downwards, hissing slightly at the sensation. With a gentle tap of her fingers, she sends a message to Autumn. 'Wish me luck.' before placing her phone on the stand by her bed.

She had a long, painful managers seminar with Reece, trapped in a stuffy room together, which she had to leave for in about 25 minutes. Swinging her star necklace around her neck, clasping it in the back, she feels nausea pooling in her stomach. Her thoughts were racing; what was actually going to happen? Reece would be there, the chaotic tension between them would be suffocating, what if it went wrong? What if she could never face anyone from the Knight family ever again?

Everything seemed to collapse around her, tight iron bands forcing her lungs to nearly snap. It felt like her brain was being crushed with a 20kg plate of pure steel.

She slips out of her chair, falling onto the floor with a soft 'thud', hands and feet firmly planted on the ground.

Breathe. She reminds herself, shutting her eyes tight.

Exhale.
Inhale.

It wasn't working. No worries, she'd just try harder.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

The technique was slowly working, grounding herself by forcing her to focus on that and nothing else.

Opening her eyes, she grappled for her phone, reaching her arm upwards blindly at her night stand. Tears left invisible tracks down her face, she stared at the time.

'7:28'.

She hissed, "Fuck!" in retaliation to seeing the time, pushing herself off the floor and wiping off her tears. She put on a harsh, cold facade in an attempt to enter and leave the seminar with her dignity intact. She'd rely on sarcasm heavily as a crutch, and witty sharp quips.

Skipping down her stairs, grabbing her keys and bag and quickly entering her car. She pulls down the mirror above her seat, staring into it and cursing herself for crying under her breath. Taking deep breaths, she ignites it, quickly driving off to the seminar.

– !! –

AN: Was planning on making this a longer chapter, but instead wanted to split it into two, so next part will be published soon!


Deleted this earlier during a tiny bit of a breakdown, so here's the repost!



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