[wattys2015] Omega

Cassie

The nights leading up to school were nothing of the hectic parade constantly replaying in my head. It seemed that Elias Crispian; much like the words he spoke, left an impact on people. My dreams were invaded with ultramarine eyes, and kisses that woke me up in the middle of the night wondering how the real thing would feel like. For someone who hadn't kissed anyone (besides the exception of my 4th grade smooch from Albert Hubertson) the dreams seemed all too real, the feelings all too familiar.

"Hey Rosie" A tiny voice squeaked through the crack in my door and i could see the outline of my little girl, well she wasn't mine, but with the night shifts mom always seemed to take as the county sheriff, most times it felt like it.

"Come on in Cas," i cooed, and she ran excitedly towards me, her arms extended as if trying to reach out and catch me before i dissipated. She leaped into my open arms, smashing my library book in the process and tucked her noodle tight blonde locks behind her little white ears.

"Guess what" she giggled as i breathed in the baby scent that seemed to be tucked away in a little spot alongside her neck.

"What?"

"Mommy said she might be home on my birthday this year!" I was about to tell her that she said the same thing last year too; but i decided to bite my tongue. She was only 6, and i didn't want to be the one responsible for breaking the little glimmer of hope she seemed to miraculously fill up with every time someone disappointed her. We loved mom, she was as much as a police officer as you could get, she even hid a gun underneath her mattress. She was the puzzle that made us feel whole; yet the very piece that held us together, often times, was the very one that went missing.

"She'll try really hard Cassie" i whispered, it was the truth after all. Mom always tried, that counted for something right?

"I know Rosie" she sighed rubbing her eyes

"And how is that" i laughed running my fingers through her hair

"Because," she yawned sleepily "--because she cries sometimes when we sleep"

Suddenly Elias Crispians' words fluttered through my mind again, and i made sure the next time we were bound to meet, i would correct him. Not all people were chocolate almonds; some like Mom had hard exteriors and soft depths, while others, like Cassie, were soft all the way through.

School the next day began like all the other first days, everyone tried their very hardest to look nice, and everyone actually showed up. But being at Roseville High for my last year, i knew; the first days attendance came only once a year, and by week two, girls would roll out of their pajama's all the way to school. Desks would become stiff beds, and teachers would become second parents. A's would drop to F's and Melanie Richards and her cheer-leading team would be the all hailing queens of everything.

Everything would be back to normal; at least that's what i thought.

"Rose!" Erin screamed from across the campus, making sure to envelope me in one of her never ending hugs "You look great" she smiled taking in my new attire; the jeans had been a gift from Dad, ones that he always sent along with a postcard perfect picture of his new family. I usually donated everything, from the Gucci handbags, to the Chanel perfumes, as a way to-- what my mom liked to call 'cope with the anger' but the jeans i had kept; they were the perfect fit. The cropped black top was one i had gotten on sale. I was a couponer at heart, considering college savings broke my wallet.

"Thanks Erin" i smiled tucking back a loose strand of hair.

"THERE YOU TWO ARE" Morgan approached with a worried look on her face, in one week the freckles along the tips of her nose and cheeks had become more prominent, and her hair shone like a flaming red against her pink skin. She was a quirky kind of beautiful, and a fighter at heart. She had once even said the reason why she could never back down from an argument was because she had no soul. Morgan was convinced that gingers like her really had no soul, therefore leading a happy productive life, full of solution. She had claimed even the words 'no soul' were found in the word solution. Erin managed to hold back laughter at that hypothesis.

"What's wrong with you?" i laughed giving her a hug

"My HOROSCOPE" she grunted,and when Erin and I looked at her in confusion, she sighed as if we should know exactly what she meant.

"Hello! My horoscope told me today was an eventful day!"

"And that means...?" Erin cocked an eyebrow

"BAD Erin it means BAD, the last time my horoscope said eventful, my mom spilled coffee down my new shirt, Braden broke up with me, and i found out that I had cancer!" The mention of cancer sent a spoonful of guilt down my throat, and I could tell by Erin's little gulp that she tasted the same sour feeling running down me. Erin didn't expect Morgan to bring up the 'cancer' topic again. It was all too scary, all a little to sad. That's what healthy people like Erin and i were though; selfish. We could never talk about the topic because we were too afraid of what to say; but even more afraid of the answers that came along with the never ending list of questions that came, after finding out your best friend has cancer. Saying anything felt like walking on eggshells; or more like broken shards of sharp glass.

"Oh come on, it's really not a big deal" she laughed brushing her hair to one side "It's cancer not the big bad wolf"
I wish i had the nerve to tell her that in the world we lived in; the people watching the ones they love die, was a bigger pain then the one actually dying, then the one saying goodbye. She wouldn't have to see the aftermath. Morgan was a tornado, one that would soon build up and destroy everything and everyone in her path. But once she was gone, once the wind that blew out of her in the form of happiness and attitude; dimmed away into oblivion. She would no longer be around to see the mess she had made, no longer be around to lend a helping hand to heal the broken wounds. You see I was mad at Morgan, I was selfishly mad that she had to pretend she was okay. We couldn't have a single sleepover because her mom woke us up with sharp wails. She couldn't tell me cancer wasn't the big bad wolf; because in the eyes of everyone who loved her; it was. Only in this twist there seemed to be no happy ending.

"It's just a silly horoscope Morg" Erin whispered breaking the silence, whilst wrapping a hand around her.

But a part of me, the one that believed in all the spiritual crap that Morgan always seemed to go on about, couldn't help but agree. Something about the first day felt awfully strange.