surrounding me

chapter two- Evelyn

Today is Mark's day. He's being awarded, and I couldn't be prouder of him. He's my older brother, the eldest of us all, and undeniably the most successful—perhaps it's the first-born qualities. My father dotes on him, making no secret of Mark being the favorite child. It's always been clear to anyone who's seen our family together. I come from a long line of doctors. My father, Daniel Bernard, is a renowned physician, respected by peers and adored by patients. My mother, my sisters, even my grandparents—all have carved out successful careers in the medical field. They are perpetually busy, absorbed in their demanding but rewarding professions. And then there's me. The youngest, the one who was expected to follow the family tradition and uphold our esteemed reputation. I was forced, almost as if it were a matter of family honor, to prepare for the medical admission test. The pressure was immense. Unlike my siblings, who seemed to breeze through their studies, I struggled. Memorizing endless biological terms and concepts was a nightmare, especially since biology was my weakest subject. Each page of my textbook seemed like a mountain I couldn't climb. My heart sank every time I opened it, dread pooling in my stomach.

When the day of the admission test came, I was a bundle of nerves. I tried my best, poured everything I had into it, but it wasn't enough. I didn't get into medical school, and in that moment, I became the ultimate criminal in my parents' eyes. The disappointment on their faces was like a knife to my heart. I still remember the aftermath vividly. The way my father couldn't even look at me, the silence that fell over the dinner table, heavy and suffocating. My mother's eyes, usually so full of warmth, were cold and distant. It was as if I had shattered the family's dream, tarnished our legacy. I had tried so hard, poured every ounce of my will into studying, but I still couldn't make it. It felt like I was drowning in an ocean of failure, unable to surface for air. I became the black sheep, the one who couldn't live up to the family's expectations. And no matter how much time passes, that sense of failure still haunts me, a shadow that follows me everywhere I go.

Lucy arrived to help me prepare for the event. I've always known she was good at makeup, but every time she works her magic on me, it feels like her skills have somehow surpassed the last time. When I look in the mirror, I barely recognize the person staring back. "You look like a fairy," Lucy says, her eyes sparkling with genuine admiration. Her compliments always make me blush and fill me with a surge of confidence. I smile at her reflection, feeling a rare moment of self-assuredness."Thank you, Lucy," I reply softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you." After finishing my transformation, I descend the stairs, feeling the fabric of my dress glide against my skin. My family is almost ready, except for Ary and Melissa, who are still fussing over the final touches of their outfits. As soon as they finish, we head to the car. As usual, Melissa and Ary cast their judging looks in my direction. It's a familiar scene, one that always makes my heart sink a little. Lucy, ever the protective friend, used to tell me they acted this way because they were jealous. She said it with such conviction, trying to lift my spirits, but I've always found it hard to believe. In the car, I catch Ary's reflection in the window, her eyes narrowing as she inspects my appearance. Melissa whispers something to her, and they both smirk, their expressions laced with disdain. It's a subtle but painful reminder of my place in the family hierarchy. I turn my gaze back to the passing scenery, trying to block out their silent criticism. Lucy's words echo in my mind, a small beacon of hope amidst the dark clouds of doubt. Maybe, just maybe, she's right. Maybe their judgment stems from their own insecurities. But for now, all I can do is take a deep breath, straighten my shoulders, and face the evening ahead with as much grace as I can muster. The car ride feels interminable, each second stretching out as I sit in silence, lost in my thoughts. I think about Mark and his big moment, and I silently vow not to let my own insecurities overshadow his day. Today is about him, after all, and I need to be there for my brother, no matter how out of place I feel.