pretty boy. ms

five

J I S U N G

to say jisung was stressed was a complete understatement.

his mind was clouded with bad thoughts and it was only 7 in the morning.

why, you may be wondering?

well jisung didn't even know himself.

as soon as he had woken up, he instantly knew it was going to be a bad day. he thought he'd be happy after speaking to minho yesterday, but apparently not.

he had days like this all the time, and every single time, he stayed cooped up in his room. not speaking to anyone.

he knew it wasn't healthy for his mental health, but did he care?

there was a soft knock on his door and jisung groaned, burying his face into his red-coloured pillow more than it already was.

since the person on the other side of the door was met with complete silence, they knocked again.

at this, jisung snapped. "what!?"

there was a brief moment of silence, the mysterious person probably a little taken back by the rude tone.

"um.... chan hyung is wondering if you're coming down for breakfast," a voice spoke. jisung realised it was changbin.

breakfast? should i? minho hyung said i should, but i'm not hungry...

"no," jisung responded, quieter than the last thing he said.

changbin, concerned for the boys tone and denial of food, decided to try and convince him to come down. "jisung, you should—"

"—god! i said no!" he shouted, before groaning and slamming his face back into the soft pillow. he then felt bad about yelling at his hyung, who was just trying to help, and felt tears prick his eyes.

gosh, always fucking ruining everything, jisung.

"okay, then....sorry for asking." then, he heard footsteps fade away from his room.

he felt like the guilt was swallowing him whole.

he wished the guilt would just swallow him whole.

after around 5 ish minutes, there was a knock on the door. this time, before jisung could muster up the courage to respond, the door opened.

he turned his head to see it was chan, and he quietly whined, expecting a scolding to come his way.

but, what he didn't expect, was for chan to sit on the edge of his bed and softly stroke the younger's mess of a hair.

"sungie, what's the matter?" he asked in the gentlest tone ever. so soft it made jisung want to cry into the elders arms right then and there. "binnie told me you were being stroppy, and it made me wonder because you're not usually like that."

silence.

jisung didn't feel like talking. if he spoke, his voice would betray him and it'd come out broken and wavery. then he'd cry.

"jisung, have you been taking your meds? i know your emotions can be a bit all over the place when you aren't, so i just want to make sure—"

"—no." jisung sharply responded.

"no, as in you haven't been taking them, or no, as in you are?" chan questioned to make sure his thoughts were right.

"i haven't." at this, chan sighed. jisung, thinking chan was disappointed in him, felt his bottom lip begin to tremble as his eyes filled with tears again.

"oh, 'sung. why haven't you been taking them?" the aussie asked, tone full of worry and tenderness. not a tad bit of disappointment or anger hidden anywhere.

jisung shrugged, and for once, it wasn't a lie. he really didn't know why. maybe it was because he thought he was getting better, so he didn't need them anymore, but he was clearly wrong. and this conversation clearly proves it.

"okay, would you like to take them now?"

jisung shook his head. chan frowned at this. again. he was seriously concerned for the younger's behaviour and didn't know what to do or how to help in anyway.

"why not, sweetheart?" the pet name slipped out of his mouth easily, knowing jisung felt safe whenever chan was gentle and caring with him. it was platonic, anyway, so what was the harm? the two shared a very father-son relationship.

"makes me tired," he slurred. his speech was muffled and quiet due to the hand up against his lips. he was clearly trying to make himself as small as possible, since he felt worried chan was angry at him. that worry scared him. a lot.

"i know, 'sung, but you've really got to take them. i understand that they can make you tired easily and a little weaker than usual, but that's good because it means they're working!" chan tried to reassure.

"but if 'm tired, then it'll seem like 'm slacking off," jisung mumbled.

"no, me and binnie don't think that! we know that you're trying your best, and if anything, we're nothing but proud," the aussie spoke in a more giddy tone to try and encourage the younger.

jisung looked up at the male with wide, doe eyes, this comment clearly lifting his mood and confidence — even just the slightest. "really?" he croaked out.

"of course! me and binnie are so, so proud of you, honey," chan comforted.

at this, he instantly began sobbing. all his pent up emotions pouring out like a waterfall. it was like the tears just wouldn't stop coming.

chan sighed at this and laid down next to the boy, holding him tightly in his warm embrace. jisung continued to sob into his hyung's chest, seeking comfort and sincerity.

and chan gave him just that.

little angst & some background info chapter lol

i also just love angst 😋😋

minho will also be back next chapter so don't you worry!! i love him too much to keep him away for too long